15 tips to get the most out of therapy

The following article was inspired by the late Mark Widdowson.

“We don’t get wounded alone and we don’t get healed alone.”

Carl Jung

How to get the most out of therapy

1. Punctuality and attendance

Consistency is key. Regular appointments help build momentum and ensure you receive the support needed to achieve meaningful change. Make a commitment to prioritise your sessions.

2. Talking about therapy

It’s natural to feel hesitant about sharing that you’re in therapy. However, many people find support from those around them and, sometimes, others even share their own experiences. If you do talk about therapy and it affects you, feel free to bring that to sessions. It can lead to valuable insights.

3. Therapy vs advice

Therapists rarely give direct advice. Instead, therapy is about exploring your options and empowering you to choose the best path forward. You are the expert in your life, and I’ll walk beside you as you navigate change and growth.

4. Understanding the therapy approach

There are many types of therapy, each with different approaches. It’s essential to explore what feels right for you. For example, I am a transactional analyst. Take time to find the right therapist that aligns with your needs.

5. Embracing change

Change can be challenging. While we often desire different outcomes, it requires effort to achieve them. Therapy can support this, but your openness to change is essential for progress.

6. Putting in effort

Therapy is most effective when you actively engage with it. This could involve reflecting on session discussions or trying out new behaviours in your daily life. Research shows that the more effort you invest in therapy, the better your outcomes will be (Holdsworth et al, 2014).

7. Openness to the process

Therapists use a variety of techniques tailored to your unique journey. Some might feel unfamiliar or uncertain, but I encourage you to approach them with curiosity. Often, new perspectives lead to unexpected growth.

8. Facing the fear of change

It’s normal to fear that change will make you lose a part of yourself. However, therapy is about helping you become the best version of yourself, not someone else. Together, we’ll make sure the changes you experience feel authentic and empowering.

9. Making notes

Throughout therapy, you may experience ‘aha’ moments – moments of clarity and realisation. Writing these down can help track your progress. Feel free to take notes during your sessions, and consider journaling between sessions to reflect on insights.

10. Being open to questions

Therapy often involves questions that may sometimes feel abstract or unrelated. These are designed to deepen our exploration, so I invite you to remain open and follow where the conversation leads.

11. Be honest

Honesty is crucial in therapy. You may feel uncertain about sharing certain thoughts or emotions but know that this is a non-judgmental space. If you experience frustration or discomfort, including feelings towards your therapist or the therapy, it’s important to discuss these openly.

12. Vulnerability is key

Opening up to a therapist can feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve never done it before. Trust and vulnerability are essential for therapy to work. It’s important to share your emotions without holding back.

13. Therapy can be tough

Revealing your innermost thoughts can be painful and uncomfortable, which is completely normal. Over time, this will get easier. If you find yourself holding back, let your therapist know, and we’ll find a way to explore it at a pace that feels manageable for you.

14. Prepare for sessions

Take some time before each session to reflect on what you’d like to discuss. Consider your current emotions and what feels most important in your life right now. This will help ensure you get the most out of each session.

15. Provide feedback

Your feedback is valuable. If something is working well, let your therapist know so you can continue in that direction. Similarly, if there’s anything you find unhelpful, please share it. Your input helps shape the therapy to best meet your needs.

References

Holdsworth E., Bowen E., Brown, S., and Howat, D (2014). Client engagement in psychotherapeutic treatment and associations with client characteristics, therapist characteristics, and treatment factors. Clinical Psychology Review, 34 (5), 428-450.