What is Anger Management
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Samantha De Bono MBACP BACPC FDAP - COUPLES COUNSELLING & INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING
15th March, 20110 Comments
First of all, it is important to know that Anger Management does not mean holding your anger in or trying not to feel angry. Anger is a normal human emotion, but there is ‘healthy anger’ and ‘unhealthy anger’ and Anger Management helps you to recognise the difference between the two.
Counselling can help you to control your anger by practising techniques that you will eventually be able to use on your own; it can help you to recognise triggers, which helps to prevent a reaction that leads to an angry outburst. This, in turn will help you to settle frustrations in a way that allows you to express your needs, while remaining calm and in control. Dealing with anger is a skill which involves unlearning some of the past behaviour patterns which have resulted in unhealthy anger.
We all feel angry sometimes, that’s normal and we may all say things we wish we hadn’t, or do things we regret, but this doesn’t necessarily mean we need help with anger management. But if your anger is having a negative effect on your relationships, or is leading to violent or dangerous outbursts, you probably do need help.
You may need anger management help if:
- You find yourself involved in fights.
- You have trouble with the authorities (the law).
- You have numerous arguments with people around you, especially your partner, parents, children or colleagues.
- You frequently feel that you are trying to hold in your anger.
- You hit your partner or children.
- You threaten violence to people or property.
- You have outbursts and break things.
- You lose your temper when driving and become reckless.
- You think that perhaps you do need help.
- Others have said you need help.
Anger Management Counselling
The length of time you will need to attend counselling, depends on individual needs. However the aims of Anger Management Counselling are:
- Help you identify your anger triggers (things that make you angry).
- Help you respond in a non-aggressive way to these triggers before you lose your temper.
- Learn how to acquire and utilize specific skills for handling your anger triggers.
- Learn how to keep calm when you feel the anger surging.
- Learn how to express your feelings and get your needs met in an assertive but non-aggressive way.
- Learn how to turn unhealthy anger into healthy anger which will motivate you to solve problems and find solutions.
As long as your anger is healthy and you express it in an assertive, but respectful way, you're unlikely to develop unhealthy anger. However, it is important that you are sure your anger is healthy before you express it.
Related articles from our experts
- Anger - expressing and dealing with it wisely
Heather Shipley, CBT and Emotional Therapeutic Counsellor DipFETC MFETC MNCS11th June, 2017
- 10 things you should really know about anger
Matt Fox - Psychosynthesis Counsellor MBACP (Accred)10th June, 2017
- Empathy: The antidote to shame
Zara Eadie MSc, BSc (Hons), MBACP, Dip Integrative Counselling, Guildford23rd May, 2017
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