Want easier days? 4 things plus an asterisk
After a fair few hours of therapy training, studying, supervision, personal counselling, reading, discussion with colleagues, a few simple yet profound things have dawned on me for an easier life:
1. Do more things you enjoy
For me, this was actually something to learn. Not to feel guilty for such pleasures, but prioritising that coffee, and feeling a sense of achievement to have made time for it. Making pleasures an aim of the day.
2. Exercise, flexibly
I'm not suggesting a regime consisting only of downward dog. Rather, to congratulate yourself whether you run 1k or 10k, or hell, even not at all today. As long as overall there is a balance in your life including some exercise, then great.
3. Spend time with people you feel good around
Simple, eh? In practice, I realise this may involve being assertive with some boundaries and/or other challenges. I think having clarity of that as a goal is a biggie though in getting there.
4. 'I don't need to see the whole world'
Let me know if this resonates: As I get older I am more aware of the limited time there is, and hence feel pressure to do, to see, to experience. It has registered with me though that I cannot and do not need to 'see the whole world'. Bucket list pressure off, tick.
So, to recap, things you enjoy; people you enjoy; exercise 'flexibly'; and take a bucket list breather.
The asterisk in the title is a bow to those for whom this article is annoying (at best) and excludes (at worst). A heartfelt nod to the fact that these ideas are not within everyone's means to implement or indeed, may 'miss' where you are altogether. If so, then I'd guess there are other areas of your life that you may want support with. Happy to help you find that support - and not at all suggesting it's with me - I see it as an integral part of my responsibility as a therapist to support the general client community with finding what/who they need. And, I realise that you may not need any help at all in doing this.
I welcome comments on any of what I've written here - it's an exploration that could no doubt be refined through discussion.
About the author
Rakhi Chand (MSc) is a counsellor/psychotherapist, supervisor & trainer. She has six years experience working in the UK & abroad with individuals, couples & groups. As a certified cyber therapist, she works with the nuances of Skype too. Finally, Rakhi is engaged in research, reviewing submissions to an international cultural psychiatry journal.
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