Seeing The Way Forward
11th October, 20110 Comments
I have written a collection of therapeutic short stories, which example some of the conscious and unconscious beliefs and concerns people can have about making changes in their relationships/lives or in themselves.
Fear triggers in us a desire to run, avoid and ignore a problem, until it gets unbearable. The majority of couples who seek relationship counselling often wait until it is crunch-time and things have escalated, before addressing an issue, instead of facing it when it is a much smaller 'pinching' issue, which can be easily resolved.
Facing problems and pain takes a lot of courage and taking the first step, admiting you need help and seeking the help of a counsellor can often be the hardest of all.
The way forward can be hard to see when we are clouded with emotions; counselling though can offer perspective, clarity and guided support to get through the tough stuff, speak the truth and make the changes needed.
Bob sat in his car waiting for the screen to de-thaw. He promised himself; this would be the last winter he’d put up with his clapped out old Honda. Things would have to get better soon; New Year, new beginnings. His fingers crossed.
This however was not one of those better days.
It was a cold January morning and the day had already started with an argument with Janey, over a spatula. He wasn’t stupid, he knew the argument wasn’t really about who was to blame for losing the spatula, but it seemed a hell of a lot easier arguing about that, than talking about what was really going on.
It had felt to him like their relationship had been under a heavy black cloud for months now with little respite from the pressure.
They would have to talk soon; avoidance seemed to no longer hack it. Nothing had changed, but the depth of misery. Sex would be the final straw, he thought. He laughed to himself painfully, why was he willing for it to get to the point of no sex, before speaking out?
Scared! He knew it. He was scared. He didn’t want his marriage to be over and he feared that would be the outcome, if they talked about what was going on. He didn't want to hurt her and wouldn't the truth hurt?
He knew he still loved Janey, but they had become so distant. How could they ever bridge the divide?
Then he thought for a moment. She had not left and she didn’t seem to be going anywhere either, maybe, just maybe she didn’t want to. The thought gave him a spark of hope. Wasn't it worth trying?
The windscreen was finally started to clear and he decided he could just about see enough to start the car and drive.
Related articles from our experts
Kirstie Burgess TA Dip in practice UKATA Counselling & psychotherapy.July 22nd, 2017
Massimo RinaldiJuly 25th, 2017
Lucas Teague PGDip; MBACP (Reg) UKCP registered PsychotherapistJuly 22nd, 2017
Andrea Harrn Psychotherapist and Author of The Mood CardsMay 13th, 2011
Imi Lo: Psychotherapist, Art Therapist, Supervisor (MMH,UKCP,HCPC,MBPsS)March 29th, 2015
Keeley Townsend BA (Hons), Ad.Dip.CP with Distinction, MNCS (Acc)December 14th, 2009
Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.