ADHD: How therapy can help

One of the most common issues people seek therapy for at the moment is for help with ‘ADHD’. This is either because they have received an official diagnosis of the condition, or because they are one of the thousands of people on a sometimes up to eight-year waiting list(!) (BBC, 25.07.24), waiting for a diagnosis.

Many people can relate to the symptoms of ADHD – a restless mind, fidgeting, a lack of focus and a seeming inability to manage time. It might seem they are totally at the mercy of this insatiable need to ‘do’, or a drive for ‘spontaneity’, which feels impossible to contain through schedules, deadlines or goal-setting.

Clients I have worked with who struggle with ADHD report feeling they have ‘too many things they feel they need to do’. There is a desperate desire to tick many boxes and fulfil many goals, but the sad irony is that they end up feeling so exhausted from the stress and anxiety that is a side-effect of ADHD that they end up doing very little at all. This sets up a vicious cycle – there is now an even deeper ‘void’ that needs filling, and sufferers put even more stress and pressure on themselves to fill it!

The ‘cure’ to ADHD is to work with its opposite. It is to help people see that structure does not limit their creativity and potential, but in fact, sets it free. 

Many people with ADHD grew up with either a total lack of parental boundaries, too strict parental boundaries, or (as is often the worst scenario!) an unpredictable mix of the two. 

As they were not given a good example of a healthy structure (a structure that supports them rather than stifles them), in many cases they have internalised an unhealthy one. This can be either too punitive (some people with ADHD have incredibly harsh internal voices) or too lax (self-discipline can be a challenge for ADHD sufferers). 

Through therapy, people with ADHD can learn to develop a balanced internal structure, giving themselves kind encouragement and motivation while also letting themselves relax when needed. In developing this blueprint for self-support, they find they can channel their creative energy more effectively, relieving some of the extreme pressure and stress that can arise when it is blocked. 

A positive internal support system can help people with ADHD more effectively set goals, improve relationships and manage their time. They will also find the way they are talking to themselves changes. With a more positive internal voice, they will be more likely to work productively and be a stronger source of support for others. 

Many of my clients with ADHD seem to have lost touch with who they really are. They are often highly intelligent and creative but seem unable to focus or ‘land’ on any particular goal because they don’t know exactly what it is they want or how to prioritise their tasks. 

Another challenging impact of ADHD is that it can negatively affect our interpersonal relationships. A good support system makes recovery and symptom management far more possible, but without the right support to navigate relationships and communicate effectively with loved ones, it is sadly often the case that the condition becomes too much for some people to cope with. This is another area where therapy can help.   

There is so much to be gained from therapy for individuals with ADHD. Structured support can make an enormous difference. Rather than joining the impossibly long waiting list for a diagnosis, perhaps it might be an idea to start treatment today. This could be a good 'goal' for now.