About me
Most couples who contact me describe a version of the same thing. You keep having the same argument. It starts with something small, the washing up, a tone of voice, a message left unanswered, and within minutes you are somewhere you have both been a hundred times before. One of you pushes for an answer, the other goes quiet. Nothing gets resolved, and afterwards there is a silence neither of you quite knows how to break. Im Paula helping couples out of that loop is most of what I do out of The White House at Wilderspool Park in Warrington and Online across the UK.
That pattern is rarely a sign that you chose the wrong person. It is usually a sign that something underneath the argument has never properly been heard, a need, a hurt, or an old fear about being left, or being too much. My job is to slow the conversation down far enough for both of you to hear it, including the parts that are hard to say out loud.
What sessions are like
I am active in the room. I will interrupt a familiar argument rather than watch you have it for the fiftieth time, and I will ask each of you to say the thing underneath the complaint. You will both get airtime. I am not there to decide who is right, I am there to help you understand what keeps happening between you, and to give you something different to do with it.
Couples come to me about communication that has broken down, constant conflict, rebuilding trust after an affair or a betrayal, feeling more like flatmates than partners, differences over sex and intimacy, parenting and step-family strain, and the question of whether to stay together at all. Some couples arrive hoping to repair things. Some arrive genuinely unsure. Both are workable, and you do not need to know which you are before you begin.
What I bring to relationship work
Alongside my core counselling training I hold Level 5 training in relationship therapy, Levels 1 and 2 clinical training in the Gottman Method, a couples Level 5 from The Grove in London, and further training in attachment-informed couples therapy, working with couples in conflict, relational trauma, and the adult sexual relationship. In practice that means I can offer you both structure and warmth: a clear framework for what is going wrong, held in a room where it is safe to be honest.
My approach is emotion-focused. Rather than working only with thoughts and behaviour, I help you recognise what your feelings are pointing at, understand the needs sitting underneath them, and express those needs in a way your partner can actually take in. Emotional change is what makes new patterns stick.
Individual therapy
I also work one to one with adults on depression, anxiety and stress, low confidence and self-esteem, grief and loss, trauma, and relationship difficulties — including people who want to work on their part in a relationship on their own. My early career was in specialist support for survivors of rape and sexual abuse, followed by family work in a counselling centre and several years with charities, and that grounding still shapes how carefully I work with anything painful.
Getting started
Deciding to contact a therapist is often the hardest part, and for couples it can take months of meaning to. If you are reading this and hesitating, that is normal. Send me a message with a little about what is happening and we can arrange a first conversation. There is no obligation to book a course of sessions, and you do not have to have it all worked out before we speak.
I see clients face to face in Warrington and online by video, with daytime and evening appointments.
Training, qualifications & experience
Core qualifications
- Humanistic Counselling, University of Chester
- Registered member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- BACP's register is accredited by the Professional Standards Authority
- Level 5 Relationship Therapy
- Practitioner Diploma in Hypnotherapy (2017), with two further years of training at the National College of Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy
- Hypnobirthing Practitioner, Hypnobirthing Training Academy, Kensington (2016) — accredited by the Royal College of Midwives and the Human Givens Institute
Registers and memberships
- British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- General Hypnotherapy Register (GHR)
- Complementary and Natural Healthcare Council (CNHC)
- National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society
- International Attachment Network
- Couples and relationship training
- Gottman Method Couples Therapy, Levels 1 and 2 clinical training
- Level 5 Couples Therapy
- The Grove London Couples Level 5
- Attachment-Informed Couples Therapy
- Working with Couples in Conflict
- Working with Relational Trauma: Dealing with Disorganised Attachment
- The Adult Sexual Relationship
- Building Better Therapeutic Relationships
Further training
- Trauma in the Time of COVID, Tavistock trauma training
- Applying Neuroscience in Counselling
- Bereavement, Loss and Change; Working with Bereavement and Loss
- How to Break the Cycle of Depression; Building Resilience to Stress
- Domestic Violence; Child Protection; Rape; Child Sexual Abuse; Male Rape - Working with Males
- Self-Harm and Suicide; Children Who Self-Harm
- Anti-Oppressive Practice; Misogyny; Autism Masking
- Working Therapeutically with Art; Working with Metaphor
- Certificate in Online and Telephone Counselling
Experience
Practising as a qualified counsellor since 2006. I began in specialist work with survivors of rape and sexual abuse, then worked at a counselling centre supporting families, and with a number of charities, before moving into private practice. I continue to train each year in the areas most relevant to the clients I see now, particularly couples work.
Member organisations
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred). Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision. Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training. All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Therapies offered
Fees
£65.00 - £85.00
Additional information
Individual & Couples Therapy
I offer professional individual and couples therapy, both face-to-face and online.
Face-to-face sessions: The White House, Wilderspool Park, Warrington
Online sessions: Available across the UK
Sessions are 50 minutes for individual therapy and 60 minutes for couples therapy
- Individual therapy: £65 per session
- Couples therapy: £85 per session
A confidential, supportive space to explore personal challenges, relationships and the changes you would like to make.
Day Time and Evening Appointments Available
When I work
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