Take a deep breath and listen very closely.
You’re reading this page because your relationship is in trouble and there are two things you need to know before you go any further:
- I am truly sorry for you. The pain you are experiencing right now is profound. I’ve worked with enough couples in crisis to know a broken heart isn’t just a metaphor… It’s real.
- The therapist you choose is critical to your future happiness and well being. I know it might be hard for you to think clearly right now because of the heartbreak you’re experiencing. But what you read next is *very* important. Working with couples in crisis is really hard.
Before we go any further let me explain a little more why number two is so crucial to you and how you can get it right.
To get to this page you probably started with a search that led you to the Counselling Directory website…
…You clicked some boxes and entered some words…
…Then you were presented with pages and pages of counsellors claiming to work with relationship problems.
And somehow you clicked on my profile.
Let me tell you…
…You got lucky.
I mean it.
Because if you look at the areas of counselling offered by those other therapists, you’ll notice couples work is just one of a very long list of areas they claim to specialise in.
"So what?" You might ask.
Well, as a therapist who only works with couples, who’s chosen to specialise in this field and who’s invested massive amounts of time, money and energy gaining the skills to become a couples counsellor…
I find this situation offensive. Because you can’t possibly know how to do all of it. It’s a bit like asking your car mechanic to rewire your house. They might have a go but would you trust the safety and quality of their work?
But enough about me, this is about you and helping you to choose the best therapist to help you and your partner get out of the pain you’re experiencing right now and gain the clarity required to help you move forwards.
Whether you’re able to work with me or not, I hope you’ll take this lesson to heart:
Couples therapy is a challenging field of work. Don’t put your relationship in the hands of a ‘Jack Of All Trades’. Choose a specialist.
I grew up in one of those classic British marriages and I understand both personally and professionally the impact of that life on my parents and their children. I don’t want that for you and more importantly, I don’t want it for your children.
We can all do better and there are evidence-based solutions to your problems.
A teacher of mine once told me that:
“Marriage therapy is an incredibly difficult discipline to master. That’s why most therapists don’t specialise in it... And yet anyone not specialising is a dilettante. It is so hard to get right that if you’re not wholly focused on it you will never be very good.”
That’s why I only do marriage therapy, I’ve been doing it for years, it’s all I do. There’s a reason for that. If marriage was easy we wouldn’t have a 52% divorce rate. And if marriage therapy was easy we wouldn’t have a 52% divorce rate, seriously, I’m horrified by the approach lots of so-called marriage therapists take.
I specialise in working with couples in serious relationships experiencing serious problems, for example:
- Affairs and betrayals
- Separation and divorce
- Lack of love and support
- Sex and intimacy issues
I am a couples counsellor trained in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)?
You might not have heard of EFT so let me explain what makes EFT different to other relationship therapy models, here goes...
Research studies found that EFT is an effective treatment for distressed couples. More than 70 per cent of couples receiving EFT recover from symptoms of relationship distress; up to 90 per cent report seeing improvements in their relationship.
Over 25 years of research has documented EFT’s benefits to couples who are facing other challenges, including depression, sexual disorders, traumatic exposure, breast cancer and childhood illness.
EFT therapists are very proud of the research this model is built upon. We meet the gold standard from the American Psychological Association (AMA) perspective for evidence-based therapy.
Because of the science and research backing EFT, its therapists can lean heavily on it. We have great outcomes - not just in terms of the percentage of couples who recover but who are actually happier, more satisfied - and we also know how to do the therapy session by session.
EFT is more than a clinically proven approach, it offers couples a new experience of their relationship, one that provides renewed trust and a deeper level of intimacy.
EFT works and is proven to be effective.
A lot of counsellors offer couples therapy without ever been trained, and most of what passes for couples therapy is offered without rigorous research behind it.
If you want the gold standard of couples counselling...
Congratulations, you've just found it.
Training, qualifications & experience
I am registered with:
- International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (ICEEFT)
- British Emotionally Focused Therapy Centre (BEFT)
As well as being an EFT-trained couples therapist, I've also taken Level 1 and Level 2 trainings with The Gottman Institute...
...Long story short...
Yes, I'm qualified and yes, I can help you.
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.
All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Please visit the services page on my website for full details of availability and fees for my work:
Update: As well as Video Conferencing, I am still offering face-to-face couples therapy from my office at The Manor House in Dawlish.
For everyone's convenience, I use scheduling software, so you can choose a session time that works best for you. Full details here:
I'm not one of those 'Jack of all trades' counsellers...
I'm a specialist and I'm constantly improving my couples therapy skills.
I only work with couples and I only practice couples counselling.