Joanne Wilsher-Mills

Sometimes life events can completely throw us off course and the world can feel like a very unsafe place. I help people to find their strength and inner resources, a sense of self-worth, to know what they want, and be able to create more peace and joy in their lives.

You may be struggling with issues such as low self-esteem and lack of confidence or you may find your feelings become too powerful and difficult to manage.

Perhaps you find it really difficult to say no. Perhaps you are tired of repeating the same mistakes in your relationships and of not being able to have the relationships you would like. You may feel frustrated that you haven’t been able to fulfil your potential or achieve your goals.

Often, difficult childhood experiences, such as childhood emotional abuse or neglect can impact on people’s adult lives. This leaves them with a sense of aloneness, frustration and powerlessness. A feeling of never being good enough or of not being seen or heard. Having had no modelling or permission to express feelings in a healthy way can result in such feelings becoming frightening and overwhelming.

This can lead to long term issues such as chronic low self-worth, anxiety and depression.

Possibly this isn’t something you recognise in your own childhood, but it is a recent life event that has impacted on you like the break-up of a relationship, a bereavement or work place bullying.

How counselling can help

I help people to learn how to manage those difficult, overwhelming feelings and find a sense of release, especially with feelings that can impact so much on everyday life, like anxiety or anger.

By having a greater sense of self-awareness, people become better able to identify where their feelings come from, identify their needs and be able to communicate them without feeling it is something to be ashamed of.

The knock-on effect of this is that it can improve their relationships with the people around them and help them attract relationships that feel nourishing and supportive rather than draining, challenging and full of conflict.


Bereavement and loss

I have specific experience of working with bereavement and loss and I have worked as a volunteer for Cruse Bereavement Care as well as the Lincolnshire Centre for Grief and Loss, working with children and young people.

Grief and loss is something that underpins so much of our lives. It is not just about bereavement but also about how we adjust and adapt to the inevitable changes and disappointments that life can bring. Things like the loss of health, financial security, the loss of a relationship or not having had the relationships we needed.

I understand that grief is such a powerful experience and something that has to follow its own journey and path, which can be debilitating and frightening at times. My goal is to work with you with these difficult, painful feelings, at a pace that feels manageable for you.

Highly Sensitive People

I also have a specific interest in working with Highly Sensitive People. This is a term used to describe people with a very specific personality type that is gradually becoming more recognised and understood. Highly Sensitive People have a heightened awareness of their environment, of other people’s moods and feelings, they process feelings very deeply and really stimulating environments can be overwhelming for them.

They may also experience physiological differences such as startling easily or being very sensitive to caffeine or certain textures. This may cause them to find some social situations really difficult and having to manage lots of things at once can be really challenging.

Highly Sensitive People can also be extremely conscientious, loyal and hardworking and very good at paying attention to detail. They value connections that are real and genuine and environments where they can thrive.

Perhaps one of the greatest challenges of being an HSP, is living in a society that still finds difference of any kind very hard to accept and where sensitivity in general is seen as a weakness and something to be overcome rather than a strength to be celebrated.

Sometimes just having an awareness of this difference can be really useful and I can help people learn to work with the strengths of this trait as well as manage the challenges.

About me

My background and training are in Person-Centred counselling, which is about respecting and being led by you as an individual. I also use other interventions, depending on what is most appropriate for you and your circumstances.

My intention is always to work in a way that best reflects your needs.

As well as working as a grief and loss counsellor, I also work with trauma. I have worked with victims of rape and sexual abuse (Trust House Lincolnshire).

I work with many other specific issues such as anxiety, depression, anger, recovery from abusive relationships and low self-esteem.

I came into counselling because I feel passionate about making a difference in people's lives and helping people to find their voice and to talk about the things that are really impacting on them.

What to expect

I believe the most important aspect of counselling is the relationship that exists between client and counsellor, that is why it is so important to choose a counsellor that feels right for you and your circumstances. I appreciate what a daunting task this can be and how much courage it can take to ask for help.

I provide the option of having a 30-minute initial consultation where we can discuss the difficulties you are experiencing, what you are hoping to gain from counselling and help you get a sense of whether I would be the right counsellor for you. This would be an opportunity for you to ask questions and gain an understanding of how the counselling process will work. If you want to go ahead with the counselling the sessions would then be 50 minutes and we would agree a working contract together. This can be short term or longer term. I run my private practice from home in Sleaford.

Free 30 minute online or telephone introductory call,  £20 for a face to face initial consultation

50 minute individual session £45.00

Reduced fees for students (including trainee counsellors) and those on a low wage £35.00

I run my private practice from home with free parking available.