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This professional is available for new clients.
I specialise in Couple and Family Relationships. I am an experienced Relate Practitioner, Clinical Supervisor, Counselling & Personal Development Lecturer, Relationship Coach, Family Mediator and the founding member of the Berkshire Relationship & Family Therapy Centre (BRFT) based in Wokingham, Berkshire.
The agencies I work with are Thames Valley Police, Children's Services, Mediation Services, Women's Refuge Agencies, Social Services, Law Firms, Religious and Educational Institutions.
MY WAY OF WORKING
As a Systemic Relationship and Family Psychotherapist / Coach, the people I work with are:
- Family Groups
- Work Groups
- Placement Trainees for Supervision
- Qualified Practitioners for Supervision
This explores how individuals operate within the many 'systems' they have in their lives e.g. couple relationships, families, friends, work groups etc. We do not live in a vacuum, we are relational beings and every relationship we have may impact us either positively or negatively, and is ever-changing.
I integrate a range of therapeutic approaches to enable you to reach conclusions about your life and find your voice. Every individual I see is valued unconditionally, as each will have their own individual story and perception which has played a major role.
A couple-relationship brings two separate and unique individuals together who have different ways of viewing the world developed by their cultural influences, religious beliefs, education, aspirations, and parental conditioning. These values and beliefs are bound to clash causing misinterpretations and assumption-making as time goes on.
My role is to help both individuals understand each other's perceptions of their reality whilst helping them to find ways forward, whether it is together as a couple, or as individuals who have decided to separate.
By the time a person has come to therapy, the stories they have for themselves and their lives may have become completely dominated by problems that work to oppress them; these are often created within their family system from childhood.
These kinds of stories can invite a powerful negative influence on the way people see their lives and capabilities within themselves as it can often be reinforced by family members around them and how they are treated i.e. through language and behaviour e.g. “You're the failure” - "You're the clever one" etc...
We will explore these and other issues together as a group in order to create new stories which will help to uplift each member of the family and enable them to feel valued.
Some Relationship Issues Highlighted...
During arguments each person uses past examples of their partner's bad’ behaviour as ammunition whenever a mistake is made thus continuing the cycle of distrust, especially if there has been an affair or infidelity they are trying to overcome, causing an impasse.
Betrayal of the couple relationship can be considered fundamental to infidelities and affairs. Betrayals may not always involve a sexual connection with another person; internet porn, ‘sexting’ or close emotional relationships are considered just as painful to many partners.
Children see and hear everything, they may not overtly comment to this effect but the behaviour they witness is teaching them how to deal with conflict, and they will mimic their role models.
Differing parenting styles is another recurrent theme in relationship therapy and there are tried and tested techniques and strategies that will enable parents to tweak and compromise their individual style in order to demonstrate a more united front for the health and well-being of their children. Coaching tends to help couples in this area.
Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse
Sometimes relationships can become more volatile in nature, with one or both partners unable to control their anger and frustration due to built-up resentment of unresolved issues. This may develop into controlling behaviours such as verbal, emotional and, or physical abuse. Couples can become trapped in a dysfunctional and sometimes co-dependent relationship of control, guilt, fear, and perhaps coercive control.
If both individuals are willing to engage in the therapeutic process and are able to take responsibility and accountability for their own actions then it is possible for a relationship to be brought back from the brink of despair.
Some couples complain about having different sex drives, or their partner may want to experiment with more ‘kinky’ sex toys or fetishes. Perhaps one partner would like to explore ‘role-play’ scenarios and fantasies that they’d like to share with their partner. Or perhaps the couple has ‘gotten out of the habit’ of love-making and now just feels awkward talking about sex or having any type of intimacy.
All of these issues and others can be explored openly and honestly both individually and collaboratively, within relationship therapy. I am trained to coach you into becoming closer sexually if that’s what you both want for your relationship.
A Way Forward
I provide a safe and confidential space where thoughts and feelings can be freely expressed openly and honestly without judgement which allows couples, families, and individuals to fully 'hear' themselves and/or each other, sometimes for the first time in a long time.
More often than not, friends and family have their own agenda because they too have invested in your issue, relationship, and/or life. As a Relationship & Family Therapist, the only agenda I have is to give you the best service I possibly can, individually, collectively and ethically. My aim is to help you become your authentic self and the best that you can possibly be for yourself, for your partner and for your family.
Training, qualifications & experience
- Relate Practitioner Certification
- FE Teaching Qualifications
- Coaching Qualifications
- Cert Adult & Family Supervision
- PG Dip Systemic Relationship Therapy
- PQ Dip Counselling Children & Adolescents
- PG Diploma in Integrative Counselling Supervision
- PG Cert Pastoral Studies
- BA HONS Theological & Pastoral Studies
- Pastoral Counselling (upon request)
- Family Systems
- Life Coaching
- Parenting Styles & Skills
- Brief Relationship Counselling
- Mental Health & Couple Counselling
- Counselling with a Sexual Focus
- Domestic Violence & Abuse
- Substance Misuse and the Couple
- Working with Relationship Breakdown
- Separation & Divorce
- Child Development
- Child Protection & Safeguarding
- Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse
- Impact of Sexual Trauma on Relationship
- Bereavement & Loss
- Suicidal Risk & Support
- Disordered Personalities
- Mindfulness in the Relationship
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred).
Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision.
Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training.
All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
- Issues related to Religion and Beliefs
- Differences in Cultural Value Systems
- Clashing Parenting Styles
- Generational Influences / Oppression
Family and Group Therapy
Initial Consultations are 60 minutes
Personal Therapy is 60 minutes
Joint Relationship Therapy is 90 minutes
- Sessions can be open-ended or short-term
- Enhanced DBS
- Concessions are available for benefits claimants (documented)
- Payments are made a week in advance by BACS
When I work
Morning telephone hours 09:00 - 12:00
Daytime and Evening hours 15:00 - 22:00
If you are happy with what you've read so far and you feel that I might be able to help then, please:
Send me an email or text message with your telephone number requesting an initial consultation, and I will respond via email or text to arrange a suitable appointment for us both.
I look forward to hearing from you.