Why therapists need therapy: Sitting with the bus full of voices

Therapists often appear calm, boundaried, and reflective – the ones who hold the space for others. But behind that calmness is still a full inner world. A therapist may appear to be just one person in the room, but inside, they may be carrying a whole bus full of voices: the inner critic, the anxious child, the professional self, the parent, the doubter, the perfectionist, the tired human.

Some days, that bus is rowdy. Other days, it’s peaceful. But if you're working with a therapist who’s doing their own inner work, they’re more likely to be driving that bus, not being dragged behind it.

Therapy isn’t about being perfect

Let’s break a myth: Therapists are not fully healed, spiritually serene beings who glide through life unscathed. Most of us came into this work through our own experiences of suffering. We’ve sat on therapy sofas ourselves – and many of us still do.

Being in therapy as a therapist isn’t about fixing all our flaws or ticking a box. It’s about staying present, ethical, and emotionally regulated in our work. Therapy helps us remain aware of our own blind spots so they don’t unconsciously leak into the therapeutic space.

Supervision is not a substitute

All therapists are required to have supervision, but this isn’t the same as therapy. Supervision is a professional space – it focuses on the client work, the therapeutic relationship, and ethical practice. But it is not where our own unprocessed pain should be explored.

When a therapist isn’t tending to their own emotional life outside of supervision, they risk confusing what’s theirs and what belongs to the client. That’s when boundaries get blurry, countertransference intensifies, and the work becomes less safe – even if unintentionally.

Therapy is a place to clear the fog, to notice our own patterns and triggers, and to deepen our capacity to hold others with integrity.

Why this matters to you as a client

You might be wondering why this matters. If your therapist seems steady and helpful, why should it concern you whether they’re in therapy themselves?

Because therapy is a deeply relational process. You, as the client, are picking up on all sorts of subtle cues – spoken and unspoken. If your therapist hasn’t faced their own shame, they might subtly shame you without realising. If they avoid anger, they might unconsciously steer you away from yours. If they struggle with their own self-worth, they may crave your approval in ways that make your sessions feel less safe or less focused on you.

Therapists who do their own inner work are more likely to spot these patterns before they show up in the room. They’re also more likely to name them if they do – and invite honest reflection. This makes therapy a more authentic, healing, and empowering experience for you.

Self-awareness is an ethical responsibility

The work of therapy is emotionally intimate. We're working with trauma, grief, hope, shame, and transformation. That means the therapist needs to be emotionally available – but not emotionally entangled.

Therapists who engage in their own therapy are better able to stay grounded and hold space for all that arises, without collapsing into it. This is part of our ethical commitment to “do no harm.” And that includes the harm that can come from unchecked projections or unmet needs.

Therapy helps us put our egos in the backseat – or at least to recognise when they're trying to grab the wheel.

Sitting with the voices

My own therapy helps me hear the voices on my metaphorical bus with more clarity and compassion. The anxious one who worries she’s not good enough. The overachiever who wants to prove herself. The tired one who just wants a break. Therapy helps me listen to them without letting them drive.

It also helps me connect with the deeper parts – the grounded, curious, wise parts that can sit alongside another human and truly be present.

You deserve a therapist who’s doing the work

Therapists are human. We get triggered, tired, and overwhelmed. But the difference is that we’re trained to notice this, to reflect, to seek support, and to work through it – not offload it onto you.

So if you’re choosing a therapist, don’t be afraid to ask: “Do you have therapy yourself?” You may not get a detailed answer – and that’s appropriate – but a good therapist won’t be offended by the question. In fact, they’ll likely welcome it.

Because therapy isn’t just something we offer. It’s something we live.