What happens in your first counselling session?

Taking the first step into counselling can often feel quite daunting. If you have never had counselling before, it is completely normal to feel nervous and unsure about what to expect.

Even if you have had counselling in the past, there can be feelings of uncertainty when you begin working with a new therapist. Fear of the unknown can sometimes put people off making that initial contact, so hopefully the following will answer a few questions.

What you will actually talk about in the first session

You will usually go through a few practicalities at the start of the session. Some therapists send out a copy of their contract prior to the first session and ask for general information such as your personal details, which can save time at the beginning of the session. The contract will include aspects of confidentiality which will be explained more fully once you arrive.

There is absolutely no rush to go into everything in the first session. Sessions will go at your own pace and focus on what feels right for you. The first session is really about getting to know each other, and you can go into as much, or as little detail as you feel happy with at this stage. Your therapist will usually ask for some background information as to what brings you to counselling, and future sessions can build naturally from there.

You will talk through what you are hoping to get from counselling and what feels most important to you right now. There may be something specific that you would like to focus on, or it may be that there is a feeling or difficulty that has been with you for a while.

It’s a two-way conversation. The first session is also your opportunity to decide if the therapist is the right fit for you. It is a time for you to ask how they would work with you, what future sessions will look like or anything else that will help you to feel more at ease.

People come into counselling for many different reasons 

You may be struggling with anxiety, bereavement, overthinking, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, work-related stress or something else entirely. Perhaps you simply have a feeling that life isn’t quite how you would like it to be, but you just can’t quite put your finger on why. Sessions will begin from wherever you are.

What if I don't have the words yet? 

You don’t need to come to a session prepared with what to say and a clear idea of what you would like to talk through.

It may be that you are having difficulty trying to pinpoint exactly what the issue is, or what you are struggling with, but you just know or feel something isn’t right. Or it may be that you do know, but can’t find the words to explain it. All of this is OK, and with the right questions you can work together with your therapist to figure this out.

Sometimes people can feel emotional during the session, and again, this is completely normal, and it is absolutely OK to cry. This is nothing to feel embarrassed about or apologise for. Crying is often part of the process for many people.  

Common approaches

Every counsellor works differently, so the approaches they use will vary, but many counsellors work in an integrative way, which means they draw on different approaches to work with each client's unique experiences. This may include the person-centred approach as well as solution-focused therapy, mindfulness and positive psychology.

If you struggle with anxiety and overthinking, mindfulness is a great tool to help manage this and a quick means to catch anxious thoughts in the moment. If you feel you are a glass-half-empty person, positive psychology tools can help you to look at things from a different perspective.

How long will counselling last?

Therapy can be short-term or longer-term depending on the issues you would like to work on. Sometimes, if it is one particular issue, this can be on a short-term basis. If you are looking at issues from childhood that are impacting your life today, it may be that longer-term work is required, but this will all be discussed during the first session.

It feels important to mention that there is no pressure to book a block of sessions. Some therapists may ask for this, so if this is not something you are looking for, it would be an idea to check this out at your initial enquiry. It is also important to check if there is flexibility around the frequency of sessions, day and time, and there is no rigidity in the number of sessions. It is about what works best for you.

Depending on the issues that you are working on, sessions often begin on a weekly basis and can then move to fortnightly or less often if that feels right. Cost, availability and time can all be important factors. If these are important to you, finding a therapist who is as flexible as possible would be a key consideration.

Face-to-face or online?

Sessions typically last for one hour, and therapy can usually be delivered in person or online via video call. You can choose whichever works best for you, is most convenient, or feels most comfortable. Some people prefer meeting in person, while others find online sessions easier to fit around work, family or other commitments.

If this resonates with you or you have any further questions, getting in touch is easy and can be done in whichever way feels most comfortable for you, whether that's by email, text or phone call. Many counsellors are happy to answer any initial questions you may have before your first session.