Re-framing the menopause: A gateway to growth and empowerment

I have worked with many women who have been experiencing the menopause. The symptoms can be miserable and can go on for some years. But, for some, the menopause has led to an awakening of a positive new era. We seem to view getting older as something to be ashamed of, and many women are working against the natural flow of ageing. But it can be a gateway to a new, more fulfilling chapter of life.

Embracing the natural flow of ageing

Getting older is nothing to be ashamed of. Many women I have worked with have managed to use this time of life as an opportunity for growth and change. A time to reflect, review, re-frame and connect to their inner instincts. In Women Who Run with Wolves by Dr Clarissa Pinkola Estes, her years of research examine the importance for generations and cultures of women to reconnect with their instinctual nature.

Rediscovering yourself through therapy

So many women have learnt to put others first - parents, partners or children. Having therapy has given some of my clients an opportunity for the first time, sometimes, to focus on themselves, look at their lives and relationships honestly and, most importantly, get to know themselves and begin to enjoy a good relationship with their adult self. Some women arrive in therapy and truly do not know who they are. But it's never too late to begin this journey. We do so much on autopilot, unconsciously living by an internalised set of imaginary rules.

The message I hear over and over again is, "There is no time." Life is full on, and we don't leave any space or time for ourselves. We forget we are in charge and that we can choose how we spend our time, and, therefore, become resigned to 'this is the way it is'.

But it doesn't need to be this way. It is in our power to simplify our lives, take charge and start to nurture the relationship with ourselves. This can start with therapy. Giving yourself permission to focus on yourself once a week can be just the beginning. From there, a seed is sown, and slowly we can begin to learn to focus inwards more and have a better connection with ourselves.

A sense of clarity then emerges with permission to put yourself first, sometimes for the first time. It's time to rewrite the script of life, update it and bring it more in line with the present; what you want and what's important to you. It's so important to connect to your authentic instinctual self. Trusting yourself fosters resilience and courage, which leads to confidence and peace. It can bring harmony and stillness.

Life shouldn't have to be endured. Menopause is a natural part of life. It does mark the end of a chapter, but also could be a gateway to a fulfilling and exciting new chapter of your life. Relationships with others are important, but the relationship with yourself is just as important, if not more so. Owe it to yourself to be happy.

To finish, a line from Max Ehrmann's beautiful poem Desiderata:

'Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.'