Parental burnout: How counselling could benefit the whole family

Parenting can be unbelievably demanding. The neverending needs of children can feel overwhelming and, in an effort to constantly meet those needs, something important may be overlooked.

Parents often sacrifice their own needs, whether it is sleep, food, exercise or a little time to themselves. While this certainly forms part of the job description, particularly in the early years, consistently sacrificing one's physical and emotional needs will inevitably lead to resentment and possibly burnout.

Symptoms of parental burnout

A burnt-out parent may suffer from:

Chronic fatigue: Feeling tired even after resting, experiencing low energy levels that make it even harder to keep up with the demands of parenting.

Disconnection: Feeling emotionally detached from your children even when you are with them.

Irritability: Getting very angry at small irritations and snapping unexpectedly with your children or partner.

Feeling inadequate: A sense that you are not a good enough parent and cannot meet your children’s needs.

Loss of joy: Things that once brought happiness, like playing with your children, become a chore, and you feel disconnected instead of present.

Physical symptoms: Experiencing headaches, stomach pains, muscle tension, and sleep issues like insomnia or hypersomnia.

How counselling helps combat burnout

Meeting the demands of parenting when burnt out is not sustainable. One of the benefits of counselling is that it is time you have dedicated purely for yourself. The act of taking 50 minutes every week to tend to your own emotional needs can be part of the antidote to burnout. It reinforces the message that you are as important as everyone else.

Counselling provides a space to explore your feelings about parenting without judgment. A professional counsellor can help you understand your experiences, find ways to heal from burnout, and leave behind those feelings of anger and frustration. Having someone outside your family and friend circle to talk to can be liberating—you can speak freely without worrying about meeting anyone else’s needs.

Overcoming the challenges of finding time for counselling

For many parents, finding the time and resources for counselling can feel impossible. Between parenting and work, every moment is often accounted for. There is also the guilt associated with spending money on oneself and taking time away from family. However, these feelings of guilt can be explored in therapy, as they may be preventing you from starting.

Carving out time for counselling, though difficult, should not be impossible. You could alternate with your partner or another caregiver to dedicate one hour a week for individual therapy. Evening sessions or online counselling can make therapy more accessible. Some counsellors may even agree to see parents with their babies. Committing to therapy shows that your needs matter, setting a valuable example for your family. If guilt arises, remember it’s common among parents and worth discussing with a non-judgmental third party.

Fear of revisiting childhood wounds in counselling

One reason parents might hesitate to seek counselling is the fear of opening up their own childhood wounds. For many people, parenthood can trigger unresolved emotions from their own upbringing and the thought of confronting these issues can feel overwhelming. Revisiting painful memories or traumas from the past may stir up emotions that have been long buried or avoided.

Parents may worry that addressing these feelings will make them feel vulnerable or impact their ability to cope with daily responsibilities. This fear is understandable. Looking at one’s past through the new lens of being a parent can be enormously challenging. However, therapy provides a safe, supportive environment to explore and heal these old wounds, ultimately empowering parents to break generational cycles and create healthier dynamics for their children.

Navigating the financial investment of counselling

The financial investment of therapy, along with the time commitment, can be challenging to prioritise, especially for parents juggling the demands of family life, work, and other responsibilities. The cost of regular sessions may seem daunting, particularly when budgets are already stretched thin. However, it’s important to remember that therapy is an investment in your mental and emotional health, which can have long-term benefits for both you and your family. There are also practical ways to make therapy more affordable.

Many therapists offer a range of options, such as low-cost or sliding-scale slots based on your financial situation. Some practitioners may provide fortnightly sessions rather than weekly ones, allowing you to spread out the cost while still receiving support. Additionally, short-term therapy, which typically lasts around six to twelve weeks, can offer targeted assistance for those who are not ready or able to commit to long-term therapy.

Shifting your perspective on the cost of counselling can also make a big difference. Rather than viewing it as an extra expense, consider therapy as part of your essential health maintenance—just as important as paying for exercise classes, the gym or nutrition. Allocating a portion of your budget for mental health can help reduce the stress of the financial commitment. Investing in therapy means prioritising your well-being, which in turn helps you show up as a more present, balanced, and resilient parent. By seeing therapy as an essential self-care tool, rather than a luxury, you can better understand its value and make decisions that support both your personal growth and your family’s overall health.

The benefits of counselling for the whole family

Regular counselling can be a powerful tool for parents to manage the overwhelming effects of burnout, offering them the space to recharge and address emotional challenges in a supportive environment. By dedicating time to their own well-being, parents often become calmer, more emotionally balanced, and better equipped to respond to the demands of parenting. This increased sense of calm and connection enhances their relationships with their children, allowing them to be more present, patient, and engaged.

By actively engaging in therapy, parents model the importance of self-care and emotional health for their loved ones. They demonstrate that looking after one’s mental well-being is not a luxury but a necessity. Prioritising your own needs not only improves your own life, but also demonstrates that everyone, including parents, deserves time and space to nurture their physical and emotional health. A valuable lesson for parents and children alike.