Know your emotional rights: How to feel seen, heard and safe

In a world that's becoming more conscious of human rights, there's one crucial aspect that often gets overlooked: emotional rights. While civil, political, and economic rights come with legal protections, our right to emotional safety, expression, and care frequently goes unrecognised, especially in communities that have been deeply affected by trauma, injustice, or neglect.

However, our emotional rights are just as essential as having food, shelter, and safety. When these rights are absent, our inner selves can grow silent. Without them, genuine connections become shallow. Experiencing emotional neglect, shame, silence, or manipulation inflicts harm that can resonate throughout a person's life.

What are emotional rights?

Emotional rights refer to the fundamental, often unspoken entitlements that every person should have in their relationships, families, workplaces, and society. These rights encompass:

• The right to feel: To experience emotions like anger, sadness, joy, fear, and grief without feeling ashamed or suppressed.
• The right to express: To identify our feelings, speak our truths, and share our pain without fearing punishment or ridicule.
• The right to boundaries: To have the ability to say no, protect our inner selves, and not be emotionally exploited or coerced.
• The right to comfort: To receive care, empathy, and support during our times of suffering.
• The right to emotional literacy: To understand our feelings and have access to education and role models that foster emotional growth.
• The right to healing: To have the opportunity to recover from emotional harm, which includes access to safe spaces, therapeutic support, and community compassion.

Beyond these broader principles, emotional rights are deeply personal. Every person holds specific emotional entitlements that empower their autonomy, dignity, value and worth. 

Below is a list of emotional rights, taken from the Personal Bill of Rights:

1. I have the right to ask for what I want.
2. I have the right to say ‘No’ to requests or demands I can’t meet.
3. I have the right to express all my feelings, positive or negative.
4. I have the right to change my mind.
5. I have the right to make mistakes and be imperfect.
6. I have the right to follow my values and standards.
7. I have the right to say ‘No’ to anything; when I am not ready, it is unsafe, or it violates my values.
8. I have the right to determine my priorities.
9. I am not responsible for others' actions, feelings, or problems.
10. I have the right to expect honesty from others.
11. I have the right to be angry with someone I love.
12. I have the right to feel scared and say, ‘I am afraid.’
13. I have the right to say, ‘I don’t know.’
14. I have the right to make decisions based on my feelings without justification to anyone, including myself.
15. I have the right not to give excuses or reasons for my behaviour.
16. I have the right to my needs for personal space and time.
17. I have the right to be healthier than those around me.
18.  I have the right to be in a non-abusive environment.
19. I have the right to make friends and be comfortable around people.
20. I have the right to change and grow.
21. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.
22. I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
23. I have the right to be happy.
24. I have the right to be playful and frivolous.
25. I have the right to be uniquely myself.

These rights are not privileges to be earned; they are inherent aspects of being human. 

Why do emotional rights matter?

When emotional rights are ignored, due to family dysfunction, systemic oppression, cultural taboos, or interpersonal conflict, people can become disconnected from their feelings. This disconnection might display as anxiety, depression, aggression, or an overwhelming sense of worthlessness. Entire communities can bear the weight of intergenerational wounds that stem not just from physical deprivation but also from emotional silencing and invalidation.

Therefore, respecting emotional rights is a matter of justice. It's a way to mend harm, reclaim dignity and restore humanity.

How can counselling and therapy help foster emotional empowerment?

Counselling and psychotherapy offer meaningful paths for people to reconnect with their emotional rights and promote healing. In the safe and confidential environment of therapy, people are encouraged to delve into feelings they may have learned to push away, ignore, or even fear.

Through this therapeutic journey, people can:

• Acknowledge the complete spectrum of their emotions without judgment.
• Gain insight into the roots of their emotional patterns shaped by family, culture, or past trauma.
• Affirm that their feelings and experiences are real, significant, and deserving of care.
• Reclaim their emotional rights – like the right to say no, feel angry, or put their needs first.
• Discover new, safe, and assertive ways to express their emotions.
• Heal from old wounds through transformative emotional experiences within the therapeutic relationship.

Approaches such as person-centred therapy are particularly aimed at restoring emotional safety and nurturing self-compassion. By working with a skilled therapist, people receive support in building their emotional resilience and developing a stronger sense of self-trust.

Therapy does more than help people cope with emotional pain, it empowers them to live more fully, expressively, and authentically. As we start to view emotional rights with the same gravity as other human rights, counselling and therapy come to the forefront as not just methods for alleviating distress, but as essential tools for reclaiming dignity, agency, and joy.

References:

• Jiyushe (n.d.) The connection between emotional wellness and social justice: Nurturing mental health and empathy for all.
• Kovanen, M. (n.d.). Building on your confidence: The personal bill of rights. https://www.drmarikovanen.co.uk/building-confidence-personal-bill-rights/
• Niblock, S. (2021) Emotional and mental wellness must be a human right. UK Council for Psychotherapy
• Nussbaum, M. (2020) ‘Martha Nussbaum and the politics of emotional justice’, Gender, Work and Organisation, 27(6), pp. 1140–1152. Raypole, C. (2021) What is
• AEDP therapy? Verywell Mind.