Homeliness VS loneliness

Growing up and establishing roots is something unforgettable. Building familiarity with surroundings and people creates meaningful memories. Laughs, adventures, and events are experiences that remain lifelong.

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When moving to different areas it was then that I began to have feelings of emptiness. Homesick, was what I felt when away from home. The unfamiliar surroundings and people. No wonder loneliness and emotional lows set in. So, what’s the answer?


Overcoming loneliness when homesick

Time to develop a sense of security. The unfamiliar becoming more familiar. Building friendships and visiting new places until they are not so new. The process and antidote to loneliness is finding that wholesome connection with others - not alone or lonely but part of the world. There are some great methods to consider; a college course, a group holiday, volunteer charity work, or working on a cruise ship. These are all methods where you have the ability to start to create your circle of people. You may be influenced to start by a therapy session, a doctor's appointment, or a talk with a family member.

When moving country a realisation came to me: How can I stop my longing to return home? Similar to wishing to go back in time, accept the new for how it is and make the best of the present opportunities. Stay out of the past. New sets of emotions and thoughts can be processed. They are just new and unfamiliar, though they can change, just as in childhood forever evolving. Noticing the new beauty on the horizon and what it has to offer. Adapting and believing it will be ok and if it’s not ok, then it can change. Putting in the effort until the point of too much pain. Walking away becomes an option too, that can work. 

Missing home

We all miss home, so when going somewhere new, see the pathway open up. If and when the pathway narrows remember home is both pathways whether it’s narrow or wide - home is wherever it takes you. The journey home can be timeless. It’s within you - your home - your place - your warmth- your peace - your desires. 


How therapy can help

In therapy creating a warm inviting environment helps. When that lost, scared and detached client enters the room it means a lot to be homely. The space reflects comfort and care. Sessions can look into social life and friend circles. If starting from scratch with a network of people, then exploring possible ways to form a network could provide a good outcome. Each session checks in on progress made to keep track of the road from loneliness to being together. 

So therapy provides a home of sort. Work also can be part of providing a home. Friendships and family have the capacity to be a home. Hobbies and activities routinely create a familiar homely feeling. When a lot of the areas of life integrate into a sense of being at home. Loneliness may indeed be a period of your past that you went through to reach where you are now. A low period often is followed by a deep sense of joy. Life’s ups and downs really test our resolve. It’s worth the wait. 

If your life is at a standstill and in need of a revamp, therapy may give you the jolt you need. To become unstuck and on track again. Talking through your current feelings and thoughts may lead you in a newfound direction. Out of the blue and into a brighter way of being. Connected and at home with life. 

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16
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Written by Warren Vinciguerra
BA (Hons) Registered MBACP
location_on Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16
After decades of engaging in my own personal therapy and also practicing therapy as a therapist, I have gained wisdom and foresight in my counselling philosophy. The honour and privilege of working at some of the worlds leading private treatment cent...
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