Duck syndrome

Have you ever watched a duck in the water? 

From the surface, it can look quite calm and relaxed, bobbing along the water, showing little effort or concern. However, underneath the water and out of sight, the duck’s feet can be paddling along and working hard against the current to stay afloat.

What is duck syndrome? 

It’s this imagery that inspired the term and can be used to describe when you assume that those around you are effortlessly gliding along and on top of everything in their lives (whilst in reality this is rarely the case!) when you’re nowhere near. And then there’s the added irony that usually others will also be assuming you too have it all together and being swan-like, whilst they’re not. Does that sound familiar? 

The term was originally coined and used by Stanford University, and more specifically, it was originally used when referring to students and their studying patterns. The pressures to ‘keep up’, perform and succeed can be immense, yet many students would not show or share this, instead quietly buckling underneath the crippling weight they felt they had to endure - and rarely showing this to the outside world. However, since then, duck syndrome has been used to talk about all individuals in all areas of their lives, and can include examples such as masking in the workplace, keeping up with social trends, feeling the pressure of parenthood, and attempting to meet the expectations of friends and family. 

How duck syndrome affects mental and physical health

This cycle of thinking and worry can exacerbate situations, leading to further stress and/or poor mental health. Stresses can further lead to poor health, including heart conditions, poor blood pressure, poor sleeping habits, and other long-term health conditions, which might lead to lower life expectancy. 

Common triggers and contributing factors

Other factors that can also affect duck syndrome include:

• the pressure or expectation placed on you by yourself and others
• life transitions (eg starting a new job)
• competitiveness
•  ‘doom scrolling’ (excessively looking through news/social media that can have negative impacts)

Coping strategies to ease the pressure

Think this might be you, and wondering how this can be mitigated? Here are some suggestions that might help:

Compassion and self-care

Practice some self-compassion and self-care, try not to be so hard on yourself all of the time and give yourself permission to relax. 

Switch things up and get outdoors

Try altering your time strategies and working/studying methods. What can you do to make things more efficient or supportive for you? What is adding to your load or needing to be reduced? 

Get off your phone and get outdoors or involved in an activity that brings you joy. Seek out things that inspire you or bring you happiness, such as hobbies, new experiences or small glimmers of hope. 

Open up

Don’t be afraid to start showing some of your vulnerability. Maybe begin by choosing one person you feel comfortable opening up and sharing with. By recognising and sharing your experiences, comfort or relief might be found, unburdening your mind. 

Look after yourself

Look after all aspects of your health and well-being to maintain a balanced lifestyle. Keeping all other aspects of your life in check can help to reduce pressures longer term; however, this needs to be done with care and understanding, as it can be easy to quickly add further strains or items to your to-do list. 

Make some time to reflect on yourself and gain awareness of habits (both helpful and harmful), and consider if changes are needed.

It's ok to get things wrong. Start to accept your flaws or failures and learn to grow from them. Be ok with being human, you were never meant to get everything right all of the time, and sometimes making mistakes is when the most beautiful creations and realisations can occur. 

Seek new perspectives

Seek mentoring or therapy to help gain or regain a new perspective. Speaking to someone different who is unattached, unbiased and non-judgemental can be beneficial to explore patterns and thoughts to aid in moving forward. 

Final thoughts

Life isn’t always easy. Or straightforward. Or plain sailing… Here’s to us all who might be currently paddling hard, bobbing along, riding those rapids, and sometimes getting in a spin. Together with greater understanding and acceptance of ourselves and each other, we can hopefully be comfortable in sharing and showing the paddling needed when swimming like ducks down the rivers of life.