Consuming…. A way to live?

From the moment I was born, with the bottle of milk in my mouth, I was introduced to consumption. That first experience set the stage for looking outside myself to maintain some degree of wholeness within. As I grew older, that need deepened - sometimes bringing pain along with it.

The desire for something external became a perpetual cycle of needing more and more. Was there something missing in the first place? Yes, I needed food and water, but as I got older, did I really need new trainers, a new bike, or a different hairstyle? 

School, and later the workplace, reinforced the message that certain things were framed as a given. If I don’t have a home in a certain street, then I’m not valid. Or if I don’t have a certain social life, then I’m boring. Outside influences and messages filtered into my psyche, developing this need to consume, to buy, to obsess on targets or achieving.

Consumption was everywhere - in shopping centres to buy clothes, train stations to buy tickets to travel, and a selection of pubs, restaurants and newsagents, all designed to promote consuming. 

Then I reached a crossroads in my life. It presented the time to take stock and reflect, giving some new ground or territory to walk into. What do I have to give? Instead of this constant need to take or digest, how about learning how to give and also sit without the need for anything other than to be with me?

It took time to discover that the best things in life are free. Not the things I feel will fix me or change something in me. It was having the bare minimum and the drive and tenacity to learn how to give that I received the most satisfaction. 

The previous messages and influences were no longer the ruling roost. They had taken a back seat and the newfound energy directed outwardly helped form new ideals and goals that generated a more selfless approach to the people in my life and those yet to meet. 

Creating a new perspective, influencing and constructing a new thought process. In recovery, it can be referred to as a change in personality. As this change brought with it new people with new ideas. Coming through the mill with this incentive I found a catalyst in my life. Thankfully for the better.

Part of this process was engaging in therapy, attending mutual support groups and working hard to implement my new way of thinking into actions. As each action took place, each element of my life changed for the better. Improving was about improving what I was able to give out.

In the old style of consuming, improving may be viewed as improving my home or car choice. Improving what I had to give was recognised in the effort I was making to be a helper.

Therapy, when engaged with, can do many things. It has the capacity to open minds, to reach destinations in life that may have seemed too far to travel to - too much hard work. How can I reach that place, surely not for me? Therapy says “Why not you?”

Never give up on your dreams as you may live to regret. Living gratefully can be assistive in a mental approach to bit by bit, step by step, overcoming each obstacle on the way to getting exactly where you can be. A grateful state of mind can do anything. 

If you’re stuck in consuming and are open to growing towards giving, then you may be ready to work within yourself to become a person you might like. Talking through your twists and turns of the mind may be influenced by therapy. It’s your life to discover and a freer way to live.