Being real is your superpower

As a relational therapist, I see so many people carrying the weight of survival mode, unsure how to step into true thriving. Often, we’ve been trained - mostly without even realising it - that we have to be something more, something different to be worthy, acceptable, or lovable. We absorb these messages, and we start contorting ourselves into shapes that aren’t true to who we really are. And over time, those strategies keep us safe, but they also keep us from truly connecting with ourselves - and others - in the way we long to.

Here’s the beautiful part: Our nervous systems are resilient. We can learn new ways of being, ways that allow us to feel safe, easeful, and deeply connected. And at the heart of this transformation is a simple truth: Being real is your superpower.

The cost of abandoning ourselves

From a young age, we learn what’s “acceptable” and what’s “not.” Maybe we learned that being sensitive wasn’t OK, so we shut that part of ourselves down. Or perhaps we noticed that being high-achieving earned us praise, so we pushed ourselves, even when we were exhausted. Over time, these protective parts of ourselves become second nature, and we forget there was ever another way to show up.

But still, there’s a part of us that longs to be seen, known, and held in our full, unguarded reality.

The road back: Emotional safety and relational warmth

Coming home to yourself isn’t about shedding all of your strategies at once. It’s about cultivating emotional safety - first with yourself, then with others. Emotional safety is the foundation for healing, and as Gabor Maté wisely says,

“Safety is not the absence of threat; it is the presence of connection.”

When we meet ourselves with warmth instead of judgment - when we offer ourselves the same kindness we’d offer a dear friend - we start to internalise a new inner voice. One that doesn’t criticise or dismiss, but instead says, “I see you. I’ve got you. You are safe with me.”

The invitation: A relationship that feels like home

True healing happens in a relationship. Just as wounds form in disconnection, they heal in connection. If you’re longing for a space where you can explore these patterns - where you’re met with warmth, empathy, and a deep belief in your inherent worth - a relational therapist can walk alongside you. Together, you can create a space where you can safely come home to yourself, at your own pace, with deep compassion.

You don’t have to do this alone. If this resonates with you, I invite you to connect with a professional. Together, you can explore how you can reclaim your authentic self and step into relationships that feel safe, nourishing, and deeply real.