Nina Ruggierio

www.pagodacounselling.com  can be accessed by the 'Website' tab above to see what others say & how I work in more detail...

"...From the moment I first spoke with Nina, I felt I had someone on my side, there to support me to overcome what had been feeling too much..." Mrs K, East Midlands, a Neurodivergent Person

About Me

Perhaps it is my wide life experience of many of life's challenges such as the exhaustion of caring for a loved-one,  surviving high academic expectations, work stress of a managerial level career in pastoral and private sectors , domestic abuse, grief or living with a life-limiting health condition that people find they can relate to me? 

The understanding I can bring seems to help form trust, felt empathy so you feel understood, have an ally who respects you as a person and has your  interests at heart.

Clinical Supervisors, required by all practicing Counsellors, have expressed that they perceived that my Clients were propelled along on a wave of warmth.

Everyone on the Counselling Directory Register is Qualified to offer you help to overcome what troubles you. Research indicates that approximately 35% of therapy outcomes can be attributed to the personality connection between Client and Counsellor, how you 'get on'. 

So, my life experience which aids real life understanding of your specific issues is backed by of Advanced Diploma in Counselling Skills & Theory (Distinction), BSocSci (hons) in Criminology & Social Policy and Teaching Qualification (PTLLS). I have focussed CPD on Anxiety, Couples Therapy and Neurodiversity, reflecting my interests and desire to be able to offer my Clients the most current approaches.

To see if we could work well together, please arrange a free telephone conversation 07961 554466 to discuss what you seek and how I may be able to assist you - 

I have worked with Schools, e.g. Skegness Grammar School (see Testimonial on website- see link above), Thomas Middlecott Academy, with organisations such as CASY (Counselling & Support for Young People), Hospices e.g. Norfolk Hospice, Tapping House & St Barnabus, a GP Surgery, Legal Referral or EAP (Employee Assistance Programme) and Private Clients. I want to be free to use proven bespoke approaches to assist each Client to achieve the optimum, best outcome, for them so prefer Private Practice - My Clients are always aware of which approach is being taken, the reason for it and are in agreement before we proceed - talk with me, in a free telephone discussion, to see how we may work together on what troubles you. 

How Therapy Works With Me (Integrated Person-Centred Counsellor)

The analogy of someone falling over, getting dirt and grit in their knees or hands will clean the wound, apply antiseptic cream to prevent germs or infection taking hold so that they can heal healthily  is relevant.

So, in therapy,  a wound is exposed, cleaned and allowed to heal healthily in the 4 stages below.

All work is solution focussed.

4 Stages 

Stage 1 is about creating rapport, a sense of understanding, felt empathy so that you perceive, feel you are in a safe place to talk, open up, to explore what has been troubling you.

Stage 2 is about your Counsellor using their trained knowledge to help bring into conscious awareness the behaviours, beliefs, thoughts which have caused you distress and suggest techniques which may be tried (with your agreement and understanding of desired benefit) - used to overcome that hurt, bring healthy emotional control back to you.

Stage 3 is about practicing the agreed techniques both in the Therapy room and applying in the real world with opportunity to review, discuss and develop understanding until your new responses become a natural occurrence.

Stage 4 is about you sensing that stabilizers can be left behind, you're ready to fly by yourself with the skills that you've now learned to protect yourself.

Just Some Techniques in the Integrated Person-Centred Toolbox

• When a Person-Centred Counsellor hears words 'ought, should, must' it alarms that a person is impacted by what others have foisted or laid on them rather than displaying their own beliefs which will cause a disconnect, distress in demands of unreasonable expectations. 

Ought, should and must can be challenged - not necessarily?! How  else can things be?

• Transactional Analysis 4 Life Positions - the prism though which all aspects of your life are always seen. The only healthy position is 'I'm OK, You're OK', what some may say as 'live and let live', it's OK to disagree but be certain of your own standpoint. Different Life Positions can generate feelings of anger, helplessness or despair; therapy will guide towards I'm OK, You're OK.
• Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), a form of CBT, considered helpful by Harvard University in their 2023 paper on Anger Management: A Skilful Way to Handle Volatile Emotions can be useful to Clients because it offers templates, formulas to use in everyday life.
• Challenge rather than Confrontation enables you to remain calm but assert your boundaries to minimise the emotional effort needed to maintain emotional regulation - I can show you how.
• The power of 'Yet'
• Responding rather than Reacting, especially helpful in becoming more comfortable with asserting yourself, negotiating your interests, becoming more confident.
• Understanding Attachment Theory, the emotional development which people progress through can be impacted by events in early life such as family break-ups, divorce - therapy can help make sense of confused emotions.
• Working to heal the wounded inner child, as pioneered by Bradshaw, has proved helpful when there has been trauma pre-adulthood.
• Empty Chair can be useful to clarify that something or someone no longer has control over you.  For example, a Domestic Abuse Survivor had placed a soft toy, a gift in the Chair as a representation of the abuser; they collapsed in laughter before voicing their prepared speech - saying 'I'm OK now, I'm not afraid, I know they were wrong...'; a highly capable person would occasionally become overwhelmed, doubting their capabilities - they were able to recount all their achievements to reassert their abilities and face a current situation.
• Most of all, the tools of Person-Centred Counselling are creating an environment in which you can feel safe, explore what troubles you and discover and try solutions - having what you say, understandings, thoughts challenged by reflecting back...but what I heard is...to introduce another perspective, new understanding. 

Some examples of how I have worked successfully with Clients - 

Anxiety or Depression: Work centres on understanding what is overwhelming you, how to take back control; developing growth of own identity, reinterpreting what has happened or reflecting alternative explanations and safety to practice trying new skills which help you to flourish with greater emotional calmness or resilience of emotional regulation. 

Anger Management:  Firstly, is it 'anger' or frustration, isolation or something else? Work centres on mitigating for actual felt emotion rather than a label affixed by others and how to better handle volatile emotions so that you can achieve, maybe negotiate the outcome you seek; e.g. learn to Challenge rather than Confront.

Surviving Bullying or Domestic Abuse: Focus is on helping you make your decisions which drive moving forward; finding your own feelings rather than what others have told you. Anger is often portrayed negatively but it can help to encourage channelling of 'indignation' for a certain level of anger to provide energy  to build confidence which shows in both body language and portrayed self-confidence. This is a particular passion of mine - nurturing people to flourish, begin to bloom after being crushed

Relationship / Family Difficulties:   Attachment Theory indicates emotional development stage needs from Childhood yet in today's world, life can present other plans for us to deal with and a Single, Happy Parent is always more beneficial than an Unhappy Parent so, Counselling can help navigate understanding and minimise confusion for a Child. Bradshaw's Working with the Inner Child has proven helpful - ask me about it, in a free brief conversation to see if we can work well together.

A healthy relationship involves individually happy individuals who complement each other for a stronger whole; what would help you to be happy, content, fulfilled, in your own right? Are key decisions aimed at taking you a step closer to your goal/s? What is/are your goal/s? We can work through what would make you happy.

Social Media: I'm placing dealing with Social Media in the Relationships Category as people, especially Young People, whose brains are not yet fully developed, matured need some therapeutic breathing space to grasp what is happening, when they become overwhelmed.

An often asked question is 'this person/group, I get the impression that you don't think that much of their opinion, so what is bothering you so much?' Building of self-identity, becoming discerning with your attention - learning what you seek from a friendship and deciding what or whom gives what you seek...the phrases  less is more or quality over quantity can become relevant and has repeatedly led to calmer, greater emotional regulation.

Grief / Loss of something important or a loved-one: Having been trained by Hospices, I use the accepted Best Practice approach.

Neurodiversity: I have worked with  Neurodiverse people to challenge any belief that they were somehow 'faulty' and encouraged seeing their entire self as just is, their Neurodiversity is just part of what makes them unique, valuable - often 'special' had negative connotations. If Neurotypical people don't 'get you' that's their misfortune, they're missing out on the wonderful personality you can show but there are mitigating techniques that can be used to reach the Neurotypical in life and enjoy more calmness, emotional regulation yourself.

Autism Spectrum: Young People on the Autistic Spectrum can begin exhausted from Masking & wanting to do what they thought would please others, were overly apologetic but weeks later with therapeutic interventions, their personality began to shine with their own identity and their form teacher commenting on how they were "blossoming".

ADHD: Besides practicing mitigation techniques to aid positive functioning in daily life needs, developing awareness of wonderful correlating characteristics such as an empathetic nature but this needs the development of strong boundaries for self-protection too. 

Dyslexia: Thought processes can get jumbled, just like letters on a page, It has been extremely helpful to realise it's ok to say, stop, pause a moment whilst I work it out or ask for something to be explained in a different way. It's ok to be me!

Dealing with Experienced Trauma, PTSD, Eating Disorders (early stage) have all been worked with successfully too - 

Why not arrange a FREE conversation about your issue and for you to ask questions about how I may help, at a mutually convenient time, when you will be free to talk on 07961 554466?

This Counsellor is dedicated to believing that if someone is ready to seek assistance to overcome what troubles them, money availability should not exclude them from getting help - See a very limited number of Clients free of charge if they are seeking to become a Survivor of Domestic Violence or Bullying or if a Child, are regarded as 'Pupil Premium'.

Fee per hour is typically £40 one to one at premises; £30 online (Zoom) one to one or telephone.

Week-end hours by arrangement, please ask.

Reference which does not breach confidentiality can be made available, upon request.

Being of Southern European Ethnicity I have some understanding of having a Cultural experience which can differ from the prevailing belief system - it resonates that I have been advised to make my name 'English', for example - even though it indicates the essence of my identity... My family can be traced back to being Lawyers in the Court of Henry VIII so we're fairly settled and aware of the British way of life!!