Lois King

Welcome. I am taking on new individual clients, couples and groups (working face to face or online) from late April/early May 2024. This could take the form of long-term open-ended work or a set block of 6/8 sessions, or I am also always available for one-off sessions (up to 2 hours) to discuss a particular issue you might be having. 

Get in touch via email to arrange a free 20/30 minute introductory online session. 

There are many reasons why people come for counselling. You might be coming with a specific goal or you may not know what you are looking for yet. I guarantee that whatever you are bringing with you,  I will provide a safe, knowledgeable, confidential, non-judgemental and professional space where together we can untangle and explore the thoughts, feelings, behaviours and beliefs that are impacting your life. 

How can counselling help?

1 - Understanding ourselves

I believe the main focus of counselling is to help us develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and why we might behave, think and feel the way we do. Often, we can discover the most important answers by looking at how we were related to as children and babies. Even if this is out of our awareness, it most likely gave us the blueprint for the rest of our lives.

Once this blueprint has been understood and explored, we can:

• Experiment with new ways of being
• Change or let go of patterns of behaviour and relating (to others and ourselves) that are causing problems in our lives, and no longer serving us well.
• Understand that real change comes from cultivating our self-acceptance and our self-compassion and leaning into the idea that we are beautiful and flawed, just like everyone else - that we are fine, just as we are.

2 - Communicating our emotions, needs, desires, preferences and boundaries...

Counselling can provide us with a safe space where we can explore how we communicate or indeed are not able to communicate our emotions, desires, needs and boundaries. It can be very powerful and healing to be offered a space where you will be supported and heard - where you are the focus, where you are free of your responsibility to please others, and be what other people expect you to be. 

I believe that there is a definite link between depression/anxiety and the suppression of needs/desires/preferences/boundaries. So, in attempting to reduce anxiety and improve depression we can take a very effective dual approach of getting to the root of what is being suppressed and learning new skills to help the body cope with the physical impact. 

It can quickly become clear how all relationships are improved as everyone better learns to navigate this terrain with each other. 

How do I work?

My approach to counselling is Integrative which means I work in a flexible and creative way, that puts my client’s needs at the heart of the work. Alongside many others, I draw on theories of:

• Somatic approaches – how our bodies store experiences and trauma, how we detect bodily responses, and the sense we make of them.
• Internal Family Systems – exploring our ‘internal’ parts and the roles they play.
• Neuroscience – the way the brain develops around our early experiences and the wonderful way in which new neural pathways can be encouraged to grow. 
• Holism and the mind body connection.
• Attachment and ways of relating.
• Compassion focused approaches.
• Trauma informed practice.

We work at your pace, in a way that pays attention to keeping you feeling safe and respecting your boundaries. 

Relationship Therapy/Sex Therapy

I work with individuals to better understand their relationships with others and their relationships with themselves. Would you like to make more sense of what happens in your relationships or why you behave the way you do in response to others? Or why your dating experiences seem to take the same path and you feel stuck in the same old patterns? Or how to even begin to date or form relationships? Do you feel scared, overwhelmed, ambivalent just thinking about it?  Would you like to work out what you want and need in your love life, and then devise a strategy to get there, with someone who understands all the worries, pit falls and difficulties that might arise?

I endeavour to help people release the shackles of shame that surround body, sex, intimacy, desire, arousal, and longing, by providing a warm, non judgemental, knowledgeable and REAL space where you can check out ANY and ALL ideas, desires/fantasies and questions.

I also work with couples/groups/family members to deepen your understanding of what is happening between you, and how your individual life experiences impact your methods of relating to each other. 

How do each of you navigate the choice between authenticity and attachment? What parts of yourselves have you had to suppress to remain safe in relationships before? What was modelled to you in your early experiences in terms of what relationships, love, marriage and adulthood is meant to look like? How do you feel when you think of challenging that? 

Alongside this, I offer practical and tailored skills and tools to help you discover how to really hear, see and validate each other and discover a way to move forward. I draw on theories of non violent communication and mediation skills to help all parties work towards being able to express themselves fully, stay grounded and reachable, and tolerate differences between you. 

I respectfully and compassionately open up conversations about intimacy and sex where appropriate, and help you to learn a new shared language to help you discover/rediscover a vibrant, nourishing and connecting sex life.

I use a clinical sexologist approach to working with sexual dysfunction and related conditions like erectile dysfunction, vaginismus, general dyspareunia, endometriosis to name just a few.

I am actively working to address access, prejudice and lack of understanding in the counselling sector in regard to Poly/ENM and kink. Whatever the flavour, dynamic or set-up of your relationship or sexual identity, you will receive a warm welcome and an open and non judgmental response. I am also LGBTQ and sex worker-friendly.

I also offer mediation for couples wishing to split up so that the process can remain as amicable and stress free as possible, holding space for what has been lost, what needs to be achieved right now, and where life might take you next. 

How the Body and Mind are connected...

I believe there is an inseparable unity of body, mind, emotions and spirit in which all function as one whole process. If we are physically unwell, our emotions and behaviour are impacted, just like, if we are suffering with depression, our bodily systems are affected by that too. We can only fully understand ourselves if we look at all aspects of our lives, and how they influence each other. This seems to be particularly useful when we are suffering with anxiety as it can provide a roadmap for discovering the root of that anxiety, and exploring ways to change our relationship with it, or perhaps even overcome it. 

With many years of experience in the medical profession, I have developed a solid understanding of chronic long term health conditions, including CFS/ME, Fibromyalgia, and Endometriosis. I understand how difficult the journey can be and how hard you might have had to fight just to get to where you are now. I am able to weave in aspects of health coaching, nutrition, mindfulness and a solid understanding of physical health to address the issues you might be experiencing in a practical way as well as an emotional one. 

Trauma and P.T.S.D.

I also have a deep understanding of trauma and PTSD and all the ways in which it might affect your life. Together we can explore this in a safe, controlled way whilst teaching you specific skills and tools to cope with the symptoms. Trauma is often stored in the body so I work in an embodied way by supporting you to become more aware of how your emotional and psychological challenges are experienced in your body. By deepening the mind body connection, we can increase your trust in your body and its sensations and work towards regaining a sense of safety. 

Free initial 20-30 minute online consultation. 

£65 per session (60 mins) for individuals. £80 for 90 minutes

£80 per session (60 mins) for couples/groups (up to 4). £100 for 90 minutes. 

120 minute sessions can be arranged if required, for those wanting to explore a specific issue. Price upon request. 

Intensive 'retreat' days of up to 5 hours can be arranged for couples/groups if you want to kickstart the therapy and time is not on your side. Price will vary according to time and needs.

Fees to be paid on the day in cash or bank transfer for online clients.

Counselling can appear to be an expensive enterprise, and it is often hard for us to accept that it is OK to invest in ourselves, particularly when there are so many other things vying for our financial attention. However, the process of counselling can be, in the right circumstances, transformational. The act of asking for help, putting ourselves first, and investing in ourselves and our future is not a selfish or indulgent one - it is a fundamental, powerful and necessary step to discovering contentment and a better life. I promise to proactively work with you to get the most out of the sessions and our time together. 

Getting started:

I know it can be daunting to make that first step. It's really important to make sure that you find the right counsellor for you, so take your time and feel free to ask as many questions as you like. 

The best way to get started is to send me an email and I will get back to you. I aim to respond to all enquiries within 24 hours where possible, but this may be longer at the weekends. 

We can arrange a 20-30 minute free consultation where we explore what you might like to get out of counselling and work out whether I am the right person for you and if we can work together. If the session goes well and you feel like taking the next step we will arrange a day and time to meet up weekly. For some, the same slot each week is important, for others - more flexibility is important, and I am happy to discuss this.

I will be aiming to work weekly where possible. Working fortnightly often means that the work becomes too 'thin' and it is hard to make sufficient progress. Whilst this may feel like an expensive commitment, both financially and time wise, it allows for us to really get to the heart of the matter and address it, and often less sessions are needed overall due to the consistency and focus that weekly work allows.

I am currently also offering online counselling to people in any location worldwide. 

A cancellation policy is in place to better protect my working practice and allow me to offer my best self to the work.

• Cancellation within 1 week of appointment - no fee charged
• Cancellation within 3 days of appointment - £32.50 (or half agreed fee)
• Cancellation within 24 hours of appointment - £65 (or full agreed fee)

If you are unable to make your appointment, I will endeavour to rearrange your appointment if another slot is available that week, but where this is not possible, the above agreement will apply.