About me
Hello, I’m Arlette. I’m a systemic family therapist with over 30 years of experience supporting people through the messiness and complexity of being human , the overwhelm, the tension in relationships, the impact of trauma, and the feeling of carrying far too much alone.
I work with adults, families, parents and young people who are navigating emotional strain, difficult transitions, or patterns that keep repeating despite everyone’s best intentions. The people who seek me out are often exhausted, anxious, stretched thin, or trying to hold things together while quietly unravelling inside.
My therapeutic style is warm, calm and honest. You’ll have space to slow down, be heard, and think more clearly , without judgement, pressure or the need to perform. I draw on systemic thinking, trauma‑informed practice and creative approaches, shaping the work around what genuinely supports you.
My background as a foster carer and in working with SEN taught me deeply about belonging, safety, and the invisible work people do just to get through the day. That lived understanding sits alongside decades of clinical experience, and together they shape how I support those who come to me.
Specialist Work With Young People & Parents
A significant part of my work focuses on anxious young people, particularly those whose distress shows up as challenging behaviour, shutdown, avoidance or emotional outbursts. I understand that some children and teenagers will not engage with therapy directly, and forcing them can cause more harm than good.
Because of this, I often work directly with parents, helping them:
-understand the roots of their child’s anxiety or behaviour
-respond in ways that reduce conflict and increase connection
-shift unhelpful patterns in the wider family system
-feel more confident in supporting their child day‑to‑day
-find steadier ground when everything at home feels tense or unpredictable
-This approach can create meaningful change even when the young person isn’t ready, able or willing to attend sessions themselves.
Who I Support
People who are:
-overwhelmed by family stress or difficult dynamics
-anxious, burnt out, or emotionally overloaded
-navigating the impact of trauma or long‑term strain
-struggling with parenting pressures and challenging behaviour
-moving through loss, separation or major life shifts
-lacking confidence, boundaries or a sense of calm
-neurodivergent, or caring for someone who is
-unsure where to start but knowing something needs to change
Pain Points I Frequently Help With
-feeling responsible for everyone else
-patterns in families that feel stuck or repetitive
-emotional reactivity, shutdown or panic
-conflict, disconnection or silence in relationships
-guilt, resentment or feeling “not enough”
-young people acting out, withdrawing or refusing support
-parents feeling helpless, blamed or worn out
-living in a constant state of overwhelm
What Our Work Can Bring
Clients often describe feeling:
-lighter, clearer and less alone
-more settled in their mind and body
-stronger and more confident in relationships
-better able to calm themselves in difficult moments
-equipped with practical tools that actually work
-more hopeful and grounded in their next steps
-connected again, to themselves and the people they care about
My aim is simple: to help you feel safer inside yourself, more resourced, and more able to move forward with clarity and steadiness.
I founded Calm Together in Houghton‑le‑Spring as a peaceful space for therapy, close to Sunderland, Durham and surrounding areas, with easy parking and access from the A1 and A19. Alongside this, I created Her Harmony, a space supporting women to gently improve their wellbeing and understand themselves.
If you’re ready to make sense of what’s happening and find a steadier way forward, I’m here to walk with you, at your pace, and without judgement. You don’t have to do this alone.
Training, qualifications & experience
- MSc Systemic Family Psychotherapy
- PgCert Systemic Psychotherapy
- Foundation Systemic Family Therapy
- PgD Profound and Complex Learning Difficulties
- BSc (Hons) Psychology and Criminology
- Certificate- Narrative Exposure Therapy NET (TRAUMA)
- Adult teaching cert
- CPD Complex Trauma (Children, Young People and Adults)
- CPD Working with Nightmares and dreams
- CPD Working with Sexual issues in Systemic Psychotherapy
- CPD Domestic Violence
- Parents as Partners Group Leader
- Cert Solution Focus Brief Therapy
- Therapeutic strategies for Supporting pupils with SEN
- ABA therapy-Autism
- Mindfulness and NLP
Member organisations
school Registered / Accredited
Being registered/accredited with a professional body means an individual must have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by their member organisation.
The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) is a leading professional body for the education, training and regulation of psychotherapists and psychotherapeutic counsellors. Its register is accredited by the government's Professional Standards Authority.
As part of its commitment to protect the public, it works to improve access to psychotherapy, to support and disseminate research, to improve standards and to respond effectively to complaints against its members.
UKCP standards cover the range of different psychotherapies. Registration is obtained by training or accrediting with one of its member organisations, or by holding a European Certificate in Psychotherapy. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
I am a founding member of Calm Together, a therapy business with a focus on supporting families, communities and organisations through challenging times.
Please visit the Website at : CalmTogether.co.uk for more information.
Therapies offered
Fees
£60.00 - £90.00
Free initial online session
Concessions offered for
Health Insurance/EAP
Additional information
I encourage families to contact me directly so that we can discuss what it is you need and how I work. If it feels like a good fit for you then we can arrange a face to face/ or online meeting.
I offer a free initial assessment session in which we can decide the number of sessions, the frequency of sessions and who will be attending. It may be that the focus of the work will be a particular individual or a combination of individual and whole family.
Please Book the initial free consultation via my website: www.calmtogether.co.uk
Fees starting from £60 per session for individuals, and £90 per session for couples and families. I offer a range of fees depending on whether you are wanting to work remotely or face to face. Please do not hesitate to contact me should you have any queries about this.
I offer concessionary rates for low income families, children with SEN (One Plan), LAC and foster carers.
I also offer reduced rates for clients who block book sessions after the initial contracting and assessment sessions.
When I work
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Further information
I am a registered member of the UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) and follow their guidelines on confidentiality, code of ethics, and good practice. I am also registered with the Association for Family Therapy and Systemic Practice (AFT).
I am a member of the British Psychological Society (MBPs)
I hold a current enhanced disclosure certificate and full professional indemnity insurance.
Please feel free to contact me via email, telephone or text message. A gentle reminder that I will not always be able to answer my calls due to my working context, I would encourage people to leave a brief message with your name and contact details and I will get back to you as soon as I am able.
Warmly
Arlette
