Nick Haynes Relationship & Couples Counsellor Relate CC Cert MBACP MNCS (Acc)
I specialize exclusively as a couples and relationship counsellor and have had a private practice in Oxford for the last 8 years as well as working for Relate Oxford between 2005- 2015.
I estimate that I have given over 6,000 couple counselling sessions and I work with a wide range of relationship issues. These include:
Affairs, betrayal & guilt
Anger, arguments, fights & tension
Aspergers syndrome in relationships
Birth of children - the effect on the relationship
Children leaving home - " the empty nest "
Domestic violence and abuse
Emotional closeness - lack or loss of
Feeling disconnected or alone in your relationship
Separation & divorce
Sexual relationship issues
The future together
This is by no means a fully comprehensive list but may include some of the issues one or both of you are experiencing together.
As a couples counsellor I work with the outcome for your relationship that is talked about at our first meeting. With the vast majority of couples this is to move forward together or at least to try to if possible - occasionally for one or both partners it is not.
Understandably it can often feel daunting or challenging to come along and talk to a complete stranger about something as important and personal as your relationship.
You may anticipate and be worried about hearing another round of the shortlist of how you are failing and getting it wrong for your partner. Or perhaps you are desperately trying to get your partner's attention to find out whether you still matter and are important to them.
If anger, tension and fighting are a principal part of your relationship difficulties will they spill over into the counselling session - will the counsellor know how to contain them safely and help you both do that at home?
You may be concerned as to how you are feeling about your partner - maybe you want to try to make it work but are feeling emotionally numb, frozen or detached. So you are not sure that you know how to make it work.
You may worry that the counsellor will judge your actions or side with your partner.
Whatever your individual and couple issues are together, I know that you are both likely to be feeling distressed and that you are caught in a pattern or cycle that tends to be repeating and resisting your individual and collective attempts to fix it.
A cornerstone of how I work is in providing a safe and non-judgmental environment for you to explore your issues with me and each other in the session.
An environment that helps you both feel heard and understood and entitled to the individual and couple experience that you share with each other.
This is instrumental in getting to the core of the issues that have been keeping you apart and assists in you successfully being able to resolve them.
Emotionally Focused Therapy
As a couples counsellor I exclusively use Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and am a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and EFT Supervisor Candidate with ICEEFT ( the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy) www.iceeft.com
Emotionally Focused Therapy is fast becoming the couples therapy of choice all over the world for counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists who work with couples.
It is a highly effective and successful way of working with relationships and is a model of therapy that is well researched and one of the few couple therapies that has any sort of outcome data and success rate. It is empirically validated scientifically as a successful way of working with couple relationships.
Looking at the success rate of Emotionally Focused Therapy, a recent meta-analysis of the best studies found 70-73% of couples to be recovered from marital distress and 90% of couples to have significantly improved.
The Next Step
If you would like to find out more about counselling or book a session you can contact me initially by e-mail or phone.
If you decide you would like to come along you can think of the first session as an initial consultation - an independent, stand alone session that does not commit you to counselling.
We will meet together for 50 mins in which you can tell me your story and get to know something of my style and how I work.
This would help you decide whether you want to have ongoing counselling sessions with me.
To enquire further or to book an Initial Consultation please call me on 07890 850563 or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Training, qualifications & experience
Certificate in Counselling Skills- Central School of Counselling and Therapy, London 1994
Certificate in Counselling Theory- Central School of Counselling and Therapy, London 1994
Combined Certificate in Counselling- Central School of Counselling and Therapy, London 1994
Ta101 ( Transactional Analysis) - Institute of transactional Analysis, London 2002
The Relate Graduate Certificate in Couples Counselling- University of East London, 2006
ADR Family Mediation Foundation Training, Bristol 2008
Certification of Emotionally Focused Therapy Training - ICEEFT International Centre For Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, London 2011 - www.iceeft.com
Certification of Core Skills Advanced Training in Emotionally Focused Therapy - ICEEFT International Centre For Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy, London 2012
Diploma in Counselling Supervision - Lindum College, Lincoln 2016
Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT) ICEEFT 2017
Registered Member of the BACP ( the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy).
Accredited Member of the National Counselling Society MNCS (Acc).
Lifetime Member of ICEEFT ( the International Centre For Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy)
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) Supervisor Candidate ICEEFT 2018
In addition to specializing in working with couples I am also trained in family mediation and alternative dispute resolution.
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Pre- marriage counselling
Short - term emotional counselling to support separating or divorcing couples.
£70 per 50 min session
Please ask if you are interested in longer sessions.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Types of client
Supervision & training