Relationship and Couple Work
Written by listed counsellor/psychotherapist: Bev Gold BA (hons). MA PGCE UKCP MBACP
11th February, 20130 Comments
The marital breakdown of Chris Huhne and Vicky Pryce has filled our newspapers and television for some time now with private agonies in the public domain for all of us to see. The rage, betrayal, denial, manipulation and vilification of those involved has been relentless; yet beneath this media circus is a very sad human story of hurt and pain; of love turned to hate and of all parties, children included, suffering immeasurably, with all of us looking in to the private world of a relationship gone very badly wrong.
What is the compelling interest for us all? Is it cathartic to watch others act out primitive feelings like jealousy and rage or is it because we can all identify in some way with feeling hurt and betrayed? Or because we all know love is a fragile thing?
I am not suggesting in the case above that talking would have solved their problems - they had clearly gone past the point of no return - but there is a salutary lesson for us all there.
Relationships do not have to get that bad. Strain and distress can affect relationships easily - economic recession, job insecurity, infidelity, empty nest syndrome, illness, growing apart, losing trust, death of a family member to name a few of the issues that create difficulty in relationship - and many problems can be worked through when couples talk. Communication is the key to working things out and is the key to success.
Ultimately, for some couples, staying together may not be the answer, but there is such a thing as a "good" separation or divorce - it doesn't always have to be toxic. It can end in less acrimonious fashion than the Huhne-Pryce partnership seems to be at the current time, if you seek help.
Many counsellors and therapists have considerable experience in supporting couples through hard times and helping them either getting their relationship back on track or separating amicably if they really have reached the end of the road. The most crucial thing is having the structured time together with a professional in a confidential setting to work out what has gone wrong and to assess whether it can be put right.
Often, it is not one factor alone but a multiplicity of misunderstandings and difficulties that have lead to unhappiness, distress and lack of communication between couples. It is the role of the therapist to help unravel the situation with all the intense and difficult feelings and to help you find a way forward. Evidence shows that intervention can prove very helpful.
Please get the help when you need it and don't let a difficult situation get worse.
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