Dr Bradley Starkey

I work with clients of all ages, sexualities and genders, to recover from addiction to compulsive sexual behaviour.

This is often referred to as “Sex Addiction” but some prefer the term “Compulsive Sexual Behaviour” or “Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder” (CSBD).

Please know that with professional therapeutic support, recovery from Sex Addiction (or CSBD), is definitely possible.

I am an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), a member of The Association of Sex Addiction Therapists (ATSAC), a member of (CORST) and an accredited member of 5RTA.

I also see general clients, presenting with issues around low self esteem, lack of confidence and uncertainty about direction in life.

Sex Addiction (or CSBD)
Sex addiction (or CSBD) is definitely a thing.

What I mean by that, is that if you are struggling with sexual behaviour that is out of control, then you are not simply highly sexed, fundamentally flawed, morally corrupt or simply a bad person.

For various reasons, your brain has likely developed a neural loop that predisposes you towards sexual acting out as a way of seeking distraction and/or comfort from distressing, unmanageable or uncomfortable emotions and/or life situations.

The tragedy of sex addiction, like any addiction, is that it leads you to act in ways that are not in alignment with who you really are.

With support, my clients are able to understand the purpose that sex addiction has served in their lives. They are then able to look towards finding other ways of serving their authentic needs.

Who Does it Affect?
Sex addiction affects people in all walks of life. It affects men and women. It affects people who are gay, bi, straight. It affects builders, mechanics, teachers, policemen, doctors, actors, presenters, scientists, priests – you name it.

Just like with other activities such as drinking alcohol, eating or gambling, most people can indulge in these things without becoming addicted to them. But for some people, and for various reasons, these activities start to be relied upon as a way of managing, and/or avoiding, difficult life situations and uncomfortable emotions. Sexual behaviour can be used in the same way.

So wherever you are in life and whoever you are, if you are looking to move on from enslavement to compulsive sexual behaviour then take action now and get in touch!

Partners of Sex Addicts
As well as working with people struggling with sex addiction (or CSBD), I also work with their partners.

For partners, discovery that their other half has been secretly acting out sexually, is devastating – the bottom literally drops out of their world. Staying together might be the last thing on their mind at that moment, but did you know that with professional therapeutic support, research indicates that 70% of couples decide to stay together. That’s a pretty remarkable and hopeful statistic don’t you think?

Whilst recovery is possible for people who are struggling with sex addiction (or CSBD), recovery and a brighter future is possible for partners too.

A Sex Positive Approach
Let me be clear, the sex addiction counselling service that I offer, is not anti-sex. Sex is a naturally occurring life force; a fundamental aspect of human being that needs healthy expression.

Recovery from sex addiction does not mean stopping sexual feeling or sexual expression.

Part of working towards recovery with my clients is supporting them to understand what constitutes healthy sexual behaviour: defined in the clients terms, not mine.

One advisory comment to make here though, is that I do not work with clients involved in illegal and/or offending behaviour. If you are not sure where your behaviour sits then get in touch. If need be, I can signpost you to other sources of support.

A note about Gay Men and Sex Addiction
Due to the politicisation of sexual freedom in gay culture, it can sometimes be harder for gay men to acknowledge that they have a problem if their sexual behaviour has gotten out of control, because sexual freedom is sometimes seen as the norm.

Only you will know whether your sexual behaviour has gotten out of control. Having lots of sex might feel right for you but if you have got to the point where you feel enslaved by your sexual behaviour, where, despite your best efforts, you are unable to stop, then get in touch to see how I might be able to help you. 

Pornography Addiction
Since 2007, with the introduction of the i-phone and broadband, there has been an explosion in the amount of pornography online and access to porn has never been easier. And whilst porn addiction can affect people of all ages, evidence suggests that it is increasingly becoming a problem for young people.

What used to be classed as hard-core porn, and even illegal porn, is now so readily accessible: just a click or two away, and this material is negatively impacting upon the way that young people are coming to view relationships, sexuality, emotions and their bodies.

If the use of sex and pornography has got to the point in your life where it has become compulsive – where, despite your best efforts you are unable to stop thinking about it or to stop acting out sexually, if it has started to have an impact on your partner, family, work, finances and/or health, then help is available.

It is possible to recover. 

Client Testimonials (NB this client has given me permission to use their words).

Here is what a client recently said about my counselling service:

I was initially a bit sceptical about counselling and didn’t really have any expectations that it would make a difference but I have been surprised and amazed by how much it has helped and by how much I have been able to make positive changes in my life. Before coming to counselling I didn’t really understand what ‘unconditionality’ was all about but it has made all the difference. I guess I feared being judged and criticised for my past actions but it’s not been like that at all. Thank you Bradley. Thank you for all of your support. S, Kent.

To read further client testimonials please paste this link into your browser:

https://thecounsellingshed.co.uk/client-testimonials/

Look, don't go on struggling on your own, reach out and get the support that you need. I look forward to hearing from you. 

LGBTQ+ Clients

I am experienced in working with straight, gay and bi clients - in other words, in terms of sexuality, I am inclusive. PS you might be interested in my BLOG: https://thecounsellingshed.co.uk/2023/02/09/are-you-gay-enough/

If you are feeling apprehensive, fearful or unsure?

If you are feeling unsure, apprehensive or fearful about the prospect of seeing a counsellor, then you have my full understanding. It is a big and courageous step.

To find our more about what happens in a first session with me, please posture the following BLOG link into your browser:

https://thecounsellingshed.co.uk/2022/10/05/what-happens-in-a-first-session-with-faversham-counselling-service-the-counselling-shed/

Rest assured that I will never ‘make you’ do anything or put demands upon you but I will support you, and sometimes challenge you, so that we can work out what it is that you are looking for. I will respect your decision to disclose as little or as much as your feel comfortable with and I will always put your welfare at the heart of my work. 

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Look, don't go on struggling on your own, reach out, help is available.  

I look forward to hearing from you. 

Bradley  

Please see my website for the types of issues that I have experience in supporting.

General Counseling: £65

Sex Addiction Counselling: £75

(Additional £15 for evening appointments). 

If required, I have a limited number of discounted rate slots for those in financial need. 

Feel free to call me for a no obligation 10-15 minute chat: we can then work out a best way forward. 

Appointments are daytime or evening subject to availability. 

The Counselling Shed has free parking.