Why am I always so tired?

Meet Lucy. Like many of us, Lucy juggles multiple roles daily. She’s a dedicated professional, a loving parent, and a reliable friend. Yet, despite her efforts, Lucy constantly feels drained and exhausted. She wonders why she's always tired as she struggles to keep her eyes open during an afternoon meeting.

Lucy’s story is all too common. Many people experience chronic fatigue without understanding the underlying causes. Let's explore energy management, why our energy gets drained, how we can replenish it, and the role our mental health plays in this cycle.

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The everyday energy drains

Lucy starts her day with the best intentions, but by mid-morning, she's already flagging. Here are some of the main culprits behind her energy drain:

Stress:

Balancing work, family, and personal responsibilities can be overwhelming. The constant pressure keeps Lucy on high alert, thanks to her sympathetic nervous system — the “fight or flight” response.

Poor sleep:

Despite going to bed early, Lucy often tosses and turns, waking up as tired as when she went to sleep. Her mind races with thoughts from the day, preventing her from getting the restorative sleep her body needs.

Anxiety:

Lucy frequently worries about the future. Whether it's work deadlines or family issues, her anxiety keeps her mind occupied, draining her mental energy and leaving her feeling fatigued.

Depression:

Some days, Lucy feels a deep sense of sadness and lack of motivation. Depression saps her energy, making even simple tasks feel like monumental challenges.

Trauma:

Past traumatic experiences can linger, affecting Lucy's energy levels. Unresolved trauma can keep the nervous system on high alert, contributing to chronic exhaustion.

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Recognising energy drains

Lucy starts noticing patterns in her energy levels. Here’s how she identifies her energy drains:

1. Emotional stress:

• Symptoms: Irritability, feeling overwhelmed, difficulty concentrating.
• Causes: Work pressures, family responsibilities, financial worries.

2. Sleep issues:

• Symptoms: Insomnia, restless sleep, waking up tired.
• Causes: Stress, anxiety, poor sleep hygiene.

3. Anxiety:

• Symptoms: Racing thoughts, constant worry, muscle tension.
• Causes: Future uncertainties, fear of failure, perfectionism.

4. Depression:

• Symptoms: Persistent sadness, lack of motivation, low energy.
• Causes: Biological factors, negative thought patterns, unresolved grief.

5. Trauma:

• Symptoms: Hypervigilance, emotional numbness, flashbacks.
• Causes: Past traumatic events, ongoing stressors, lack of support.

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Replenishing your energy

Lucy decides it's time to make some changes. She starts exploring ways to replenish her energy and improve her overall well-being.

1. Manage stress:

• Techniques: Time management, setting boundaries, practising mindfulness.
• Actions: Lucy starts using a planner to organise her tasks and sets aside "me time" each day to unwind.

2. Improve sleep:

• Techniques: Establish a bedtime routine, limit screen time, and create a comfortable sleep environment.
• Actions: Lucy creates a calming bedtime ritual, avoids her phone an hour before bed, and invests in a comfortable mattress.

3. Reduce anxiety:

• Techniques: Deep breathing exercises, journaling, and grounding techniques.
• Actions: Lucy practices deep breathing during anxious moments, writes in a journal to process her thoughts, and uses grounding techniques to stay present and calm.

4. Address depression:

• Techniques: Physical activity, talking to a trusted friend, seeking professional help.
• Actions: Lucy starts a morning walk routine, reaches out to a close friend, and schedules an appointment with a counsellor.

5. Heal from past experiences:

• Techniques: Counselling, support groups, self-compassion practices.
• Actions: Lucy begins counselling and joins a support group to connect with others who understand her experiences.

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What happens If we remain depleted?

If Lucy continues to ignore her energy drains, she risks long-term consequences:

1. Physical health decline:

• Symptoms: Frequent illnesses, chronic fatigue, weight changes.
• Impact: Prolonged stress and poor sleep can weaken the immune system, leading to health problems.

2. Emotional health deterioration:

• Symptoms: Increased irritability, mood swings, feelings of hopelessness.
• Impact: Unmanaged stress, anxiety, and depression can lead to more severe mental health issues.

3. Decreased productivity:

• Symptoms: Difficulty concentrating, procrastination, lower work quality.
• Impact: Energy depletion affects Lucy’s ability to perform well at work, leading to more stress and anxiety.

4. Strained relationships:

• Symptoms: Withdrawal from social activities, conflicts with loved ones, lack of communication.
• Impact: Constant fatigue can make it hard for Lucy to maintain healthy relationships, leading to isolation and loneliness.

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The nervous system and emotional health

Lucy learns that her nervous system plays a crucial role in her energy levels and emotional health. The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is like a gas pedal, preparing her body to respond to stress. However, when constantly engaged, it can lead to burnout.

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), on the other hand, is like a brake, helping her body relax and recover. Activating the PNS through relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and mindfulness, can help restore balance.

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How counselling can help

Feeling overwhelmed by her journey, Lucy decides to seek professional help. She meets with a counsellor who helps her understand the connections between her energy drains, emotional health, and nervous system.

1. Identifying triggers:

• Process: Through counselling, Lucy identifies specific stressors and emotional triggers that drain her energy.
• Benefit: Understanding her triggers allows Lucy to develop strategies to manage them effectively.

2. Developing coping strategies:

• Approach: The counsellor introduces Lucy to various techniques to address negative thought patterns.
• Benefit: These strategies empower Lucy to manage her anxiety and depression, facilitating improved energy management.

3. Healing from past experiences:

• Process: Lucy works with a counsellor who has extensive experience in addressing challenging life experiences, such as trauma, that affect her current energy levels.
• Benefit: Through this therapeutic journey, Lucy experiences a reduction in hypervigilance and emotional numbness, leading to a revitalised sense of energy and well-being.

4. Building resilience:

• Process: Counselling helps Lucy build emotional resilience by teaching her self-compassion and stress management techniques.
• Benefit: Resilience equips Lucy to handle future challenges without depleting her energy reserves.

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Practical steps for better energy management

By the end of her journey, Lucy has developed a toolkit of strategies to manage her energy effectively:

1. Set boundaries: Learn to say no and prioritise tasks that matter most to you.
2. Practice mindfulness: Incorporate mindfulness techniques into your daily routine to reduce stress.
3. Establish a sleep routine: Stick to a consistent bedtime and create a relaxing pre-sleep ritual.
4. Stay active: Engage in regular physical activity to boost your energy levels and improve your mood.
5. Seek support: Reach out to friends, family, or a professional counsellor for support.

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Lucy’s journey to understanding and managing her energy is a testament to the power of self-awareness and proactive care. By recognising the factors that drain her energy and taking steps to replenish it, Lucy transforms her life, regaining vitality and balance.

If you find yourself constantly asking, "Why am I always so tired?" consider exploring your own energy drains and taking steps to address them. Remember, you don't have to navigate this journey alone. Seeking professional counselling can provide the guidance and support you need to reclaim your energy and achieve better mental health.

Like Lucy, you can find a more energetic, fulfilling life. Start your journey today and discover the difference that understanding and managing your energy can make.