When a loved one falls into far right thinking

It starts with a comment — a passing remark that doesn’t sit quite right. Maybe it’s a conspiracy theory they mention or an offhand criticism of something that once seemed benign. At first, you brush it off, thinking it’s just a phase, a fleeting curiosity. But as the days turn into weeks, you notice it more. The person you love — your partner, sibling, parent, or close friend—has started down a path you never imagined they’d take: the dark and often dangerous world of far-right thinking.

It’s an uncomfortable truth that many of us are facing in the UK today. The rise of far-right ideologies and conspiracy theories isn’t just a distant issue played out on news channels and social media; it’s happening in our homes, at our dinner tables, and during family gatherings. It’s deeply personal, and it’s heartbreaking.

The slow descent

The descent into far-right thinking often begins gradually, almost imperceptibly. It might start with a new interest in politics or a newfound scepticism towards mainstream media. Maybe they’ve started following alternative news sources or engaging in online discussions with like-minded individuals. At first, it can seem harmless — after all, questioning authority and seeking out different perspectives can be healthy. But when these perspectives become increasingly extreme, when they begin to echo the rhetoric of hate, exclusion, or baseless conspiracy, it’s time to worry.

The algorithms of social media can accelerate this descent. Platforms like Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter often push more extreme content to keep users engaged, leading them down a rabbit hole of increasingly radical views. Before you know it, the person you love may be consuming content that reinforces a dangerous worldview, one that is detached from reality and rooted in fear and division.

The impact on relationships

Watching someone you care about fall into this trap is deeply painful. The person you once knew — a rational, compassionate individual — seems to be slipping away, replaced by someone whose views are increasingly alien to you. Conversations become more strained, and disagreements more frequent. It can feel like you’re losing them to an ideology that has no place in the person you thought you knew.

The impact on your relationship can be profound. It’s not just the disagreements; it’s the loss of shared values and the erosion of mutual respect. You may find yourself walking on eggshells, avoiding certain topics, or even distancing yourself emotionally to protect your own mental health. The connection you once had is starting to fray, and with it, the sense of security and trust that is so vital in any relationship.

Navigating the minefield

So, what can you do? How do you navigate this minefield without losing your relationship or your sanity?

Start with empathy:

It’s easy to respond with anger or frustration when someone you love expresses views that you find abhorrent. But try to remember that these beliefs often stem from fear, insecurity, or a sense of powerlessness. Approach the conversation with empathy, aiming to understand where they’re coming from, even if you fundamentally disagree.

Set boundaries:

It’s important to protect your mental health. If conversations about these topics are becoming too toxic, set clear boundaries. Let them know that while you respect their right to their own opinions, certain subjects are off-limits because they’re damaging to your relationship.

Encourage critical thinking:

Gently challenge their beliefs by asking questions that encourage them to think critically. Avoid confrontation, and instead, focus on fostering a dialogue that helps them see the flaws in far-right ideologies. Sometimes, planting a seed of doubt can be a powerful first step.

Seek support:

You don’t have to go through this alone. There are support groups and resources available for people in the UK who are dealing with loved ones falling into far-right ideologies. Connecting with others experiencing the same thing can provide comfort and practical advice.

Accept what you can’t change:

As hard as it is to accept, you may not be able to bring them back from the brink. People can be deeply entrenched in their beliefs, and changing their minds may be beyond your control. At some point, you may have to accept that you cannot save them, and focus instead on preserving your well-being.

The uncomfortable truth

The uncomfortable truth is that you may not recognise the person you love anymore, and that’s a painful reality to confront. But it’s also important to remember that people can and do change. While it’s unlikely that you can pull them out of the rabbit hole single-handedly, your support, compassion, and refusal to give up on them entirely can make a difference over time.

In the UK today, as we grapple with increasing polarisation and the spread of extreme ideologies, these situations are becoming more common. It’s a difficult road to walk, but you’re not alone. There is help, hope, and the possibility — however slim— that the person you love can find their way back to the values you once shared.