Valentinophobia

It's coming! Soon, everywhere you look will be surrounded by love hearts and everything pink! Flowers go up in price to an extraordinary amount. Of course I'm talking about Valentine's day.

The day when you're supposed to show your loved one, how much they mean to you. It's also a day of disappointment. 

So many things can go wrong on this day. Lovers get their partners the wrong gifts. You have those who don't believe in Valentine's day and you also have those who are or have been victims of abuse and this day can be a massive trigger for all sorts of negative feelings.

Then there are those who are single and want to forget the whole period. To miss the "so what did you get then?" Your colleagues have flowers delivered to the office, which highlights just how single you really are or how lonely you can be. 

It can feel like everywhere you go people are wondering, does s/he have a date? Even popping to the shop that evening can be a painful experience.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Many people feel like this and if they could sleep through the week, they would.

So how do you cope with being single, or having left an abusive relationship on valentines day and you're feeling a bit down?

1. Buy yourself some flowers. They don't have to be expensive, just something to lift your mood. 
2. Cook your favourite meal.
3. Download a movie that isn't romantic but one that you'll enjoy.
4. Run yourself a relaxing bath.
5. Book an evening/daytime class doing something you love (pottery or candle making is great fun!)
6. Take yourself out for a date. Not everyone will want to do this; as they may feel like they'll be surrounded by couples but that is not necessarily true, you'll find a few singles out and about.
7. Spend time with some of your single friends. Invite them for pizza or cook them a meal. You can spend your evening watching a movie or playing a board game.
8. Go for a drive and play the music that you love, loudly. If you don't drive, go for a walk with your earphones in or stay at home and boogie down to your favourite album. 
9. Start planning outings for the coming months, book tickets to a festival or holiday.
10. If all else fails, have an early night. You've earnt it.

There might be something you can add to the list or even make your own list.  Remember, as hard as it seems, it's only for 24 hours. The run up to it and possibly the weekend after can feel a bit tense but then march is on its way and soon you'll have spring!

Spring being the time for new beginnings where you get to breath newness into your social life. It can be hard getting through this period but you can do it. Just a bit of planning needed beforehand and it will be over before you know it.

If you feel like you need extra support during this time, you can seek guidance from a counsellor or psychotherapist.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Marilyn McKenzie BSc, PGDip, MBACP, Couple’s Counsellor

I am Marilyn McKenzie and I am a qualified psychotherapist who has worked with couples, addiction, DV, young offending, grief and bereavement as well as anxiety and depression.

I am integrative in my approach but often work systemically. I have a private practise and work with relate.… Read more

Written by Marilyn McKenzie BSc, PGDip, MBACP, Couple’s Counsellor

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