When your teen asks for something that immediately strikes you as horrifying, don’t react! Say you would like a while to think about the issue, and that you will get back to them.
Really analyse for yourself privately exactly what bothers you about it. Are you just reacting out of habit? Because YOU weren’t allowed to have/do this when you were a teenager? How far does it touch your actual beliefs and values as an adult in the 21st century?
You may be surprised to discover that really you don’t actually disapprove after all, in which case, tell your teen. Or you may realise that it truly does bother/offend/shock you, and now you are in a position to give a reasoned, thoughtful response.
Your teen will respect the fact that you didn’t give a knee-jerk reaction, but were prepared to think it over. It shows them you value them enough to take that time.
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About Virginia Sherborne
I am a qualified counsellor and Accredited member of the BACP, seeing clients at Wellforce in the centre of Sheffield. I have specialist training in bereavement, rape/sexual abuse, trauma and parenting. My clients include young people as well as adults.
I can help you to:
find a safe space to come to terms with painful experiences
gain some perspective on your life
Located in Sheffield.
To book an appointment, please get in contact: