Time? What are your priorities?

At a recent training workshop we were invited to consider the people who are in our orbit and what prevents us being or feeling closer to them.

We were concentrating on the effects of loneliness and it seemed that a large percentage of candidates cited "not enough time" as one of the main reasons they did not see the friends & family they so loved.

It occurred to me, that each time we don't make time to see someone, we are actually making a conscious (or unconscious?) choice that they are not a priority.

We are choosing to spend our most precious resource elsewhere.

How might that feel to say to someone who has asked if we are free for a cuppa? 

"I'm sorry, you are not a priority, right now"

It feels very different to "I'm sorry, but I'm so busy this week" doesn't it? Yet that is what we are saying. "You are less important than the other things I choose to do this week". Whether that be working "making money is more important than seeing you". How does that feel? Or "I'd rather spend my time with my new boyfriend than comforting you at the moment".

Are you comfortable with that?

If you are, all well and good, you're making the right life choices, for you. But, if you feel that little uncomfortable stab, that "ouch" when things don't quite sit right with us, maybe its time to reassess?

Counselling can help us to recognise what our priorities are, it's so easy, when living a busy life, to lose track of what's really important to us, sitting down with someone we can trust, sharing our hopes, fears and anxieties, and feeling safe enough to look at the realistic changes we can make to enhance our lives, maybe the best use of your time ever.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Spennymoor, Durham, DL16
Written by Carole Howells, CHanges Counselling Support
Spennymoor, Durham, DL16

Carole Howells is a person centred counsellor, BACP registered, volunteered with charities including children's counselling and a local Hospice.
She runs a busy Private Practice where her life experiences enable her to support others as they pick their way through the minefield that life can be.
She is often described as the laughy sweary one.

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