Three ways therapy can help you in your role as a parent

At all stages of parenthood, whether that be trying to conceive, pregnancy, caring for a newborn baby or young children, life with teenage children and even when those children become adults, we can face difficulties that can sometimes feel unmanageable. In this article, we'll explore three ways in which therapy can help you in this journey.

1. Providing you with emotional support

As the saying goes, "You can't pour from an empty cup". Often, we are so busy looking after others that we don't take the time to give ourselves the opportunity to slow down, to reflect, and to share what is going on for us. This can be the case at any stage in life as a parent, whether it be the exhausting newborn days, or when rushing around and juggling family life with older children.

Counselling provides a space for you to talk to someone outside of your family and wider social circle. The simple act of being listened to and feeling heard - without judgment - can be powerful. By taking this time you can find that you are better able to cope with what is going on around you at home.

2. Thinking a little deeper about what is going on

When we become parents ourselves, and as we move through life, we can find that - without necessarily being aware - old patterns, feelings, behaviours and thoughts are reactivated. Sometimes, for example, if we experienced a particular difficulty during our own childhood, we can find that this gets repeated in some way in the dynamic between ourselves and our own child. Often, we do not even know that this is happening.

By thinking about our own early life in therapy, we can explore any patterns or unconscious dynamics and triggers that might be taking place in our present situation. Making these connections between present and past can bring us a greater understanding of what is happening and why it feels so difficult. We might be able to think about what life was like for us at the stage that our child is at, and possibly to be able to relate those two experiences.

3. Gaining perspective

When we are in conflict, for example with a teenager or an adult child, or a partner or co-parent, it can be very difficult to see the situation from the other person's perspective. The space that therapy offers can allow you to think about what might be going on for the other person. That's not to take away from the pain that you are feeling in relation to them, but to acknowledge that there are different ways of looking at and experiencing a situation. This can be helpful if you are looking to repair difficulties in your relationship with the other person, or to be able to offer them support.

No matter what age your children are, being a parent can be a mixture of highs and lows, and a huge array of feelings. Pride, worry, joy, frustration, panic, gratitude, sorrow, guilt, love and regret are just a few examples of the feelings that can be around in the relationship between parent and child. Being able to bring all of these feelings to counselling - no matter how contradictory or confusing they might seem - can be a thought-provoking and ultimately helpful experience.