The empowerment journey to being your best self

Are you at the stage of wanting to find a better way? Even a better you? I’ve been there myself. It took me on one of the most exciting journeys I have ever experienced. A journey from despair to a university degree, and I'm in my later years. I've walked the walk I've experienced anxiety and depression. Yet, I found the strength to turn it around.


How to make changes that last

I want to share with you a way you can improve your lot in life and cut down on levels of stress. Have you tried changing before? Did you realise that, without support, it is a difficult task? Did you change for a while only to get drawn back into patterns of negative self-talk?

There is no shortcut to lasting change, and it becomes a daily practice. If we are to change our thinking, we must integrate it into everything we do. At this point, I will reassure you there is no requirement to sign up to become the next monk from your local neighbourhood. You can make changes that will benefit you in the way you evaluate yourself and your future potential but this is a change where you become true to yourself living life on your terms.

The first step is to make an honest inventory of what parts of life we are living that make us unhappy or cause problems for us. Do make a pros and cons list and ask yourself why you do this behaviour? What do you get from it? Why do you want to discontinue? What would your life look like without the problems you feel you want to erase?

Compare the full picture by asking yourself two questions

  1. What will my life look like in five, 10, 15, or 20 years if I don’t change?
  2. If I decide on change, how do I think I will feel? What will be the benefits?

Prepare yourself for pressure from friends who continue the same behaviour patterns you are trying to break free from. If you can stay away from old places associated with whatever you are trying to change.

Setting goals

Unrealistic goals will increase your fear factor. Compare all the consequences if it feels daunting as a life change try focusing on one day at a time. Determination will help you begin if you want to change a day at a time before you know it you soon have time mounting up to your credit. Do not become complacent at this point.

Changes must be positive 

Reward yourself along the way. If you are making a lasting change you will need something to fill the void. Look at activities you can introduce into your life of a positive nature. If you are staying away from your old hangouts look to join a sports club. You will find these things help with frustration and you feel rewarded.

If you think I don’t do sport I hate cleaning ovens but I always felt good once the job was completed. One final suggestion Uncomfortable change becomes punishing, and rational people don't continue activities that are more painful than they are rewarding.

Write down the goal you first want to change and draw stages between deciding and reaching your goal and how many steps you want to take to reach your target. Keep a list of what works and how it made you feel. 

Empowerment counselling

Empowerment counselling is a means to help clients concentrate on areas in life where they are experiencing problems. Do you find it difficult to say no? Find yourself manipulated by others? Find it hard to claim ownership of a view if it is not popular? Have you found yourself easy influenced only to regret it later? Your views and values are what make up the unique you. You should not be expected to go with the flow. Your views are important.

If you find yourself struggling to live your life by your values or suffer from low self-esteem or confidence issues, maybe you are trying to break a habit but have limiting self-beliefs empowerment counselling can help you. It may be that you find life hard to deal with at this current time? You might be experiencing relationship issues or sadly have become recently bereaved.

Empowerment is the degree of freedom and self-determination in you to be your true self free of negative self-talk. Living true to your values and principles. So this enables you to change your mind and your life to become a happier version of yourself. The person you truly are rather than what others expect you to be. Living your life with personal fulfilment.

If a problem is weighing you down let’s explore it together in this context. The things we allow ourselves to emotionally dwell on have an impact on our physical health. What’s been holding you back until now

I will leave you this week with this thought starting today I need to let go of what has gone, have gratitude for what I still have and look forward to what is yet to come. If you want to know more check out my profile.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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London W6 & E14
Written by David Pender, MBACP, Integrative Psychotherapy | Anxiety Specialist
London W6 & E14

My professional development in London has trained me how to support you in most challenges you are likely to face. I gained valuable experience working in divorce and bereavement counselling in London dealing with various aspects of personal relationships. My experience also includes experience working as a facilitator in London based addiction.

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