Slaying your inner saboteur with lessons from RuPaul’s Drag Race

Ever sashayed down the highway of life only to trip at the finish line, that nagging voice whispering doubt in your ear? Werk it, girl! That's your inner saboteur, and just like the legendary RuPaul says, "We're all born naked, and the rest is drag." We all have that pesky voice, but just like our favourite drag queens, we can learn to channel our inner fierceness and silence the negativity.

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Recognise your saboteur's drag eleganza

The first step is to identify your saboteur's signature style. Does it strut in with the sequined leotard of perfectionism, leaving you paralysed by the fear of not being Beyoncé? Perhaps it prefers the shady catsuit of insecurity, hissing doubts about your abilities like a particularly cutting remark from Bianca Del Rio. Maybe it throws shade with the boa of negativity, painting every situation with a bleak brush like Shangela when she's feeling unseen.

Once you recognise the costume, you can start to dismantle it.

Challenge the critique, honey

Just like Michelle Visage dissects a runway look with a discerning eye, challenge your saboteur's negativity. Is that fear of failure based on reality, or is it a worn-out script from past experiences that needs a rewrite? Can you reframe those insecurities into learning opportunities, like snatching defeat from the jaws of victory in a Snatch Game challenge? When the negativity starts its shtick, don't give it airtime. Instead, counter it with fierce affirmations that celebrate your strengths and resilience.

Werk your own confidence: The ultimate power move

Drag queens don't shy away from expressing themselves. Neither should you! Develop a mantra, a personal power statement that embodies your goals and silences the doubt. Repeat it like a fierce lip-sync battle cry whenever your saboteur tries to steal the spotlight.

Show yourself some love: From shade to self-acceptance

RuPaul always reminds us to "Love yourself." Self-compassion is key. Beating yourself up fuels the saboteur's fire. Instead, treat yourself with kindness. Acknowledge your setbacks, but don't dwell on them – even the most sickening looks take time and practice to perfect, as any queen on Drag Race will tell you.

Remember, you've got the charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent!

You are worthy of your dreams. Drag queens transform themselves through creativity and sheer willpower. Channel that energy! Break free from self-limiting beliefs and paint your own life with bold colours. Your inner saboteur may never fully sashay away (let's be real, some shade is inevitable), but with these tools, you can learn to drown it out with the roar of your own confidence. Remember, you were born to slay, honey, and slay you will!

Feeling inspired? Take action!

The world of drag is full of fierce inspiration. Consider exploring drag culture online or even attending a local show to experience the empowering energy firsthand. Who knows, you might even discover a hidden talent for lip-syncing or find the perfect sassy alter ego to help you silence your inner saboteur with a well-timed "Can I get an Amen?"

Bonus tip: Journaling with a drag queen persona

Feeling stuck in a negative thought spiral? Try this journaling exercise. Imagine your inner saboteur as a shady drag queen (think Bianca with a withering wit). Now, create a sassy drag queen persona representing your empowered self. Write a dialogue between the two, with your empowered persona shutting down the negativity with fierce comebacks and affirmations. Fix your mug, girl, and slay that saboteur!

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Milton Keynes MK14 & Olney MK46
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Written by Gareth Eglinton-Pacitti, DCounsPsych, MBACP
Milton Keynes MK14 & Olney MK46

My qualifications and training cover a wide variety of humanistic therapeutic approaches in addition to Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), Brief Solution Focused Therapy and coaching skills.

I have lived experience of being queer and disabled. I love pop culture, music, reading, and American reality TV.

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