Scapegoating: The silent saboteur in work, family, and life

In recent years there have been some mentions on the topic of 'ghosting' or being 'ghosted'. This made me think about a similar method - scapegoating. Even though the more current topic is commonly discussed or experienced, the latter has been and still is prevalent.

Psychological harm can come in many forms. Rejection, abandonment, harassment, and shaming are a few examples. Scapegoating has its place on the distress list. In many contexts too; work, family, friend circles, clubs, church etc.

Taking one example, work, the method of scapegoating can be a very devious approach to administer. Edging someone out of a promotion by applying distress to the individual and also using the means of scapegoating. It could be that incompetence is the particular way to carry out the plan.

A self-constructed situation leads the person to seem incompetent. This could be by taking advantage of a small mistake and verbally blowing it up to look like a bigger mistake. Now out of proportion and spread through gossip carrying out the desired plan. Chinese whispers can be a powerful additional method to this thought-out destructive pattern. The situation has now brought the person to a shameful place, possibly wondering how they got there. Now their promotion is in question. 

In families when this occurs it can be caused by heightened emotions. Blame is usually fueled with anger and blame is a huge part of the scapegoating process. Once this occurs counter defence is natural. However, the accusation is made and under question as to its validity. The term “ no smoke without fire” could pollute an innocent individual by putting them in the scapegoat role. When subjected to this and you’re without the means of a strong defence you may take the full blame, leading to guilt, when you’re entirely innocent.

In recent press, it’s been evidenced that some have experienced lengthy prison terms, when in fact they have later and sometimes many years later, been proven innocent. This is the tragedy of this infliction as it can have the capacity to take many years away from an innocent person’s life. This proves that this method can have catastrophic consequences for the receiver. 

So how do we halt this covert attack from happening? Use your gut instinct. If you have no gut instinct, fight your corner with courage and ask for help in this battle. Even though you haven’t initiated the war you’re involved in, you can fight to expose the truth and uncover the participants in this scenario. You can end the person or persons from carrying out their devious attack on you. It’s possible. 

Whatever the situation, being ghosted or scapegoated, can take its toll on your health. Talking to friends, family, a GP or a therapist can be good resources whilst experiencing this anguish. Always remember you have the power when you seek help. Exposing the instigators could even lead them to rethink this damaging approach they have adopted. Seeing it through the eyes of the attacker, can on occasion, lead you to have a forgiving approach in this scheme. This is what makes you the winner. No need to fight fire with fire, you’re the better person in the long run and it’s the long run we desire - not the quick fix.