Riding the divorce roller coaster

About 100,000 people divorce annually in the UK; it is usually very stressful for everyone involved - an emotional roller coaster.

While you divide your assets, and make practical and family changes, anger often provides the energy to keep you going, and may help you to separate emotionally.

When the divorce comes through, you may think the ride is over. Yet even if you weren’t happy together, you will need to grieve the loss of your partner, and a way of life, possibly even no longer living with your children. You might feel lonely, rejected or guilty about the divorce.

The good news is that you can start to move forward by facing the reality and talking. If you have friends and family to turn to, you are lucky! Sadly, they are not always the best listeners; it might be hard for them to see you suffering and be reminded of their own vulnerability. These personal relationships might also change – some subtly and others dramatically - to reflect loyalties, your change in status, who you live with now and so on.  Even if you have a new partner, the future may seem uncertain. It’s not unusual to question: who are you now?

Help is at hand. You can get support through groups and divorce courses, or talk to a registered counsellor - see Counselling Directory online for someone local to you. They can help you down safely from the roller coaster, so you can come to terms with your divorce. You can take stock of what matters to you now and help you learn to trust again; even an imposed change can become an opportunity to create a life that you really want.