Restoring intimacy beyond change

Sexuality is a vital part of human connection, intimacy, and self-expression. When medical changes, such as surgeries, chronic illnesses, or treatments, impact sexual function, it can feel overwhelming, not just physically but emotionally. If you find yourself or your partner struggling with sexual dysfunction after a medical change, know that you’re not alone, and more importantly, that there is hope. Seeking therapy can be a crucial step in navigating this challenging journey together.

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Understanding sexual dysfunction after a medical change

Medical conditions can affect sexual function in many ways. Physical changes, hormonal shifts, and emotional stressors can all play a role. Whether it’s due to a major surgery, a chronic illness, or a treatment plan like chemotherapy, the body undergoes changes that can alter your sexual experience. You might be facing challenges like decreased libido, pain during intercourse, erectile dysfunction, or a sense of disconnection from your body. It’s important to remember that these responses are normal and valid. Your body has been through a lot, and it’s okay to need time to adjust.

The emotional toll on relationships

Understanding that beyond the physical symptoms, sexual dysfunction can place a significant emotional strain on relationships. You and your partner may feel frustrated, insecure, or disconnected. It’s common for communication to become strained as both partners navigate feelings of loss, guilt, or inadequacy. You might worry that your partner no longer finds you attractive, or that your relationship won’t survive this change. These fears are deeply human and understandable. However, it’s crucial to remember that your relationship is more than just your sexual connection; it’s built on love, trust, and mutual respect. Therapy can help you rediscover these foundations.


The role of therapy in healing

Therapy can provide a safe, supportive space to address both the physical and emotional aspects of sexual dysfunction. A skilled therapist, especially one who specialises in sexual health or couples therapy, can help you and your partner navigate these complex emotions and find new ways to connect. They can offer guidance on how to communicate openly and without judgment, helping you both express your needs, fears, and hopes.

For individuals, therapy can help you process feelings of grief, anger, or shame related to the changes in your body. You may explore ways to reconnect with your sense of self-worth and sexuality, focusing on self-compassion and acceptance. If you’re feeling distant from your body or struggling with negative self-image, therapy can provide tools to rebuild a positive relationship with yourself.

For couples, therapy can facilitate deeper understanding and empathy. Together, you and your partner can learn to redefine intimacy, exploring new ways to connect that may not rely solely on physical sex. This could include emotional intimacy, non-sexual touch, or finding joy in shared experiences. Therapy can also help partners support each other’s healing processes, fostering a sense of teamwork rather than blame or isolation.

Choosing the right therapist

When seeking therapy for sexual dysfunction, it’s important to find a therapist who is experienced in sexual health and understands the complexities of medical-related changes. Look for someone who is non-judgmental, compassionate, and open to discussing sensitive topics. It’s okay to ask potential therapists about their experience with similar cases and how they approach therapy. You deserve a space where you feel comfortable and supported.

Moving forward with hope

While sexual dysfunction after a medical change can be challenging, it doesn’t have to define your relationship or your sense of self. With time, patience, and the right support, many individuals and couples find ways to adapt, heal, and even strengthen their connection. Therapy offers a pathway to understanding, compassion, and renewed intimacy.

Remember, you’re not expected to have all the answers right now. Healing is a journey, and it’s okay to take it one step at a time. Reach out for help when you need it, lean on your partner, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. You’re worthy of love, connection, and joy; no matter what changes you’ve been through.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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St. Neots PE19 & Bedford MK40
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Written by Donna West, MBACP (Accred)ACTO (Snr) Psychotherapist/Clinical supervisor
St. Neots PE19 & Bedford MK40

I have worked with an array of clients whom have accessed counselling for varying reasons that they feel are inhibiting them from living an authentic life. My role within the therapeutic relationship is to work alongside an individual to facilitate self-exploration and consider alternative routes that may lay before them.

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