Relationships: 'Strong' women and men

You are a 'strong' woman of course and you can do it yourself, you can live on your own. However, that is not the point! 

What type of man do you want to be with? On a female to male scale? But what type of man you are attracting right now?

A masculine guy needs to feel masculine. No guy, no strong guy is going to be around a woman who never lets him take care of her. Your argument is "I can do it myself". What if I said to you that "that is weak", what if I said to you "having to do everything yourself is a form of weakness". Because all it is, is about trying to validate yourself by showing how strong you are. 

A strong woman does not need to show that. She does not need to spend so much energy on showing how strong she is. She knows it and feels it and has no need to prove herself. In fact, a really strong woman can go one step more advanced. 

The weakest woman says "I need everything done for me, I do not know how, I cannot do that, help me".

A level above her is a woman who says "I can do it myself, I do not need someone for that, I can do it myself".

Another level above that is "I know I can do it myself, but it is a lot of fun when someone else does it". It is strong to be served. "It makes me strong to be served. It does not make me strong to hold guys at an arm's length saying that I do not need them", because this is what you do.

Life is unsatisfying by being single. Of course, you do not need him/her for your happiness, but if you really want to get the most out of life and enjoy life on a different level then yes, women need men. Men need women. Accept that we need each other. Bring some of those guys into your life. Because it will not be nearly as fun as without them and they will not have nearly as fun with you if they cannot enjoy being a guy around you.

You have a choice to respond to which path you will follow. If you struggle with your relationships or choosing a partner, speak to a counsellor or psychotherapist. They can help you live a more satisfying life.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Chryssa Chalkia, Integrative Psychotherapist, CBT & Counsellor UKCP, BABCP
Soho, W1B 5TF

Chryssa is passionate about supporting individuals to improve their well-being and live a more fulfilling life. She believes in personal and professional development through self-awareness. She works with individuals in the NHS and privately offering brief/long-term therapy in both Greek and English. Chryssa is a UCKP and BACP psychotherapist.

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