Men's mental health: Addressing the crisis and seeking soultions

Mental health is a huge topic in the news at the moment. The devastating Nottingham stabbings inquest, the utter failures of those involved, and the heartbreaking death of former England cricketer Graham Thorpe, have brought the issue of men's mental health to the forefront of national conversation. 

These incidents underscore a harsh reality: men in the UK are in the grip of a mental health crisis and the current support systems are failing them. Despite efforts to improve mental health services, the stigma surrounding men's mental health and the reluctance to seek help continue to result in unnecessary suffering and tragically, loss of life.

The silent struggle of men

Men are often conditioned from a young age to suppress their emotions and to "man up" when facing difficulties. This cultural expectation can lead to a reluctance to express vulnerability or seek help, particularly in the realm of mental health. 

According to the UK government, “Men can be reluctant to engage with health and other support services and anyone who needs help is being encouraged to speak to their GP or self-refer through the NHS.” This reluctance is a significant factor in why men are disproportionately affected by severe mental health issues and why they are less likely to receive the help they need.

In 2021, there were 5,583 suicides registered in England and Wales. Since 2010, men aged 45 to 64 years have had the highest age-specific suicide rates. Alarmingly, around three-quarters of these deaths were men. Data from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) reveals that the highest rates of suicide in men are found in mixed and white ethnic groups. The numbers are staggering, with the Samaritans reporting that they receive a call for help every 10 seconds, and tragically, someone dies by suicide every 90 minutes in the UK.

The case of Graham Thorpe is a poignant example of how mental illness can affect even those who, from the outside, seem to have everything going for them. Despite a successful career, a loving family and being physically healthy, Thorpe struggled with severe depression and anxiety for years. His brave family has courageously shared their family's story, emphasising that there is no shame in talking about mental health. "Mental illness is a real disease and can affect anyone," they said, dispelling the myth that mental strength on the field or in life equates to immunity from mental health challenges.

The ripple effect of a failing system

While the suffering of men experiencing mental health challenges is profound, the ripple effect of their struggles extends far beyond the individual. Families, friends, colleagues and communities often bear the brunt of the fallout when men do not receive the help they desperately need. The frustration of watching a loved one spiral into deeper despair, feeling powerless to intervene, can be devastating. In many cases, the pain and confusion felt by those close to the individual can lead to their own mental health struggles, creating a cycle of suffering that spreads through families and communities.

When men are let down by the mental health system, it is not just their lives that are affected. Partners may feel isolated and overwhelmed, children may experience anxiety and confusion, and friendships can become strained. The loss of a loved one to suicide or the ongoing stress of living with someone who is deeply unwell can have long-lasting effects on the mental health of those left behind. In this sense, the failure of the system does not just claim one life; it leaves a trail of collateral damage that can affect many more.

The emotional toll on Graham's family is evident, and their decision to speak out is a call to action. "We are not ashamed of talking about it. There is nothing to hide and it is not a stigma," said his daughter. The Thorpe family's story highlights the need for a more robust and responsive mental health system that can prevent such tragedies and support those who are impacted when the system fails.

The system is failing men—and everyone around them

The current mental health system in the UK is not adequately equipped to address the specific needs of men. Men are often let down by a system that does not cater to their unique psychological and social experiences. The barriers to seeking help are multifaceted: stigma, lack of accessible services and insufficient awareness of mental health issues all contribute to the problem. 

For many men, by the time they do seek help, their mental health has often deteriorated to a critical level, leaving those around them to witness their decline with a sense of helplessness.

Health and Social Care Secretary, Sajid Javid, has acknowledged the urgency of this issue, stating, “We must treat suicides with the same urgency that we treat any other major killer.” Javid's commitment to publishing a new 10-year suicide prevention plan is a step in the right direction, but more immediate action is needed to save lives and protect the mental health of those affected by the ripple effect.

Solutions and the power of therapy

There are several ways we can begin to address this crisis and support men struggling with their mental health, as well as those who are impacted by their struggles:

Breaking the stigma: Public campaigns and education should focus on normalising mental health discussions for men. Encouraging men to talk openly about their feelings without fear of judgment is crucial. This also extends to educating families and communities about how to support men in crisis.

Improving access to services: Mental health services need to be more accessible and tailored to men's needs. This includes offering services outside of traditional working hours and providing male-specific support groups. These services should also include support for families and loved ones who are dealing with the ripple effects of a man’s mental health struggles.

Promoting early intervention: It's essential to encourage men to seek help early before their mental health deteriorates to a dangerous level. This can be achieved through routine mental health screenings and by making self-referral processes more straightforward. Early intervention can prevent the escalation of mental health issues and reduce the ripple effect on others.

The role of therapy: Therapy can be a powerful tool in helping men manage their mental health. It offers a safe space to explore emotions, develop coping strategies, and work through challenges. Therapy can help men see that there is light in the darkness and that hope is always within reach. Additionally, therapy can provide crucial support for those who are struggling with the impact of a loved one’s mental health issues.

Community and peer support: Men are often more comfortable talking about their experiences with peers who understand what they are going through. Expanding peer support networks and community-based mental health initiatives can provide additional support. These networks can also be vital in supporting the families and friends of those who are struggling.

Hope in the darkness

While the statistics paint a bleak picture, it is important to remember that there is hope. Mental illness, no matter how severe, is treatable, and there are people and resources ready to help. Graham Thorpe's family has shared their story to help others understand that mental health struggles can happen to anyone and that there is no shame in seeking help.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, please reach out to the resources available:

• Samaritans - 116 123
  Offers support 24 hours a day.
• PAPYRUS - 0800 068 4141
  A voluntary organisation supporting suicidal teens and young adults.

In these challenging times, let us come together to support the men in our lives, prevent the devastating ripple effects of a failed system, and work towards a future where mental health is treated with the urgency and compassion it deserves.