Internet addiction or watching porn at work

The internet

The internet may seem like an ever present effortless universe. In using the internet you may feel that you have control over your world and others’. In the internet universe you are less likely to experience criticism, it seems like a world without rejection and where the boundaries between fantasy and reality become blurred. The individual’s relationship to the internet can be viewed personally, interpersonally, socially and culturally.



Desire

For the infant boy the Mother is the locus of desire and for the Mother the infant boy becomes the locus of her desire, as he brings with him the desired penis. For the infant boy the Father brings about, separation from the mother and a fear of castration. The infant son, the boy and later the man, is required to have a positive identification with the father and sufficient fear of the father’s retribution, if found out.

The generational difference between infant and parents, where the parents reassure the infant: ‘One day you’ll have a partner of your own’, indicates an unconscious incestuous desire to love a parent, and in the case of heterosexuality, the parent of the opposite sex. As our basic desire is to love. The male addicted to pornography of women somehow can’t escape the mother’s seduction.

Internet pornography

Psychologically, pornography may be considered as a symptom, a compromise formation, regulating self-esteem and aggression. An addiction to internet pornography may indicate a failure in the early infant-mother relationship where fantasy takes the place of the delayed gratification of reality.

Internet pornography, chat room or mobile communication, may often be a male adult addiction, representing an attempt to regulate aggression.

Internet addiction to watching pornography at work, involves a deceit, risk taking, heightened excitement and the fear of being found out or caught. When not caught there may be a sense of omnipotent triumph of not being caught, by the Father, or by work colleagues. It may seem that women on the internet are always ‘up for it’. It may seem sad that the individual, using the internet, seems to borrow the other’s fantasy rather than having their own fantasy.

Internet addiction may become a sado-masochistic relationship of submission and dominance. Internet addiction triumph, of not being caught by the father or by work colleagues, may become associated with Oedipal triumph. Controlling his own thoughtless temper, by internet or mobile induced masturbation. Anxieties and fears seem to be located in the body.

Masturbation

Masturbation may be an attempt to control the father’s temper by controlling his own body through masturbation. Masturbation may be a means of controlling one’s own temper, and an inner sense of rejection, by using internet / mobile communication which leads to auto-erotic climax. A rage against the self may be a defence against the rage against the other, a defence against omnipotence and disgust.

Masturbation may represent a need to become a man, but there may be a stuckness of self soothing. The anxiety and fears may seem to be located in the body, perhaps regulating guilty rivalry towards other males. Masturbation may seem to reinforce being manly, yet feeling smutty, forbidden and disgusting. A Madonna whore divide.

The phallic internet may reinforce an Oedipal heaven where the infant feels omnipotent and all-powerful. The Oedipal Mother and Father, the infant’s King and Queen, where the infant girl becomes Father’s Princess, but the infant boy fears castration by the Father. Sublimating violent feelings may lead to feeling castrated and impotence.

Whereas the internet offers instant gratification, can we bear feelings of disappointment without feeling it to be catastrophic? Can an omnipotent orgasm be experienced without shame or disgust following delayed gratification?

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Gavin Williams, Psychodynamic Psychotherapist & Counsellor

During Counselling and Psychodynamic Psychotherapy sessions couples and individuals become empowered, by understanding themselves and their 'trigger points' better.
I encourage you to talk about your personal experiences, including the present day and your childhood too, in complete confidence. Talking about and exploring your relationships, and the character you find yourself in at home an… Read more

Written by Gavin Williams, Psychodynamic Psychotherapist & Counsellor

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