How to build self-confidence

A person with self confidence generally likes himself , is likely to take risks and to achieve his goals; someone who lacks self confidence tends to have a negative view of himself and what he hopes to gain in life

Below some simple steps to build your confidence

Identify your negative thoughts

The aim is not to dwell on these negative thoughts but to become more self aware so that you can begin to think more positively about yourself.

Change negative thoughts with positive ones

By using positive affirmations you can turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts. "I can do this", " I am going to try" and "I will be good at this".

Maintain a positive support network

Surround yourself with people who are supportive, uplifting and those who are make you feel great. Someone who is telling you "you should do this or that" can be destructive to your self-confidence.

Identify your talents

Find something you enjoy and cultivate hobbies or interests; this will help you to build your self confidence.

Take pride in yourself

Find inner qualities you are proud of (your sense of humour, listening skills, compassion, ability to cope with stress) focus on them and write them down.

Be patient with yourself

Sometimes you need to go backwards to go forward. Not meeting your goals this time around is an opportunity to learn more about yourself and to grow. Self-confidence needs to nurtured and grown slowly.

Stop comparing yourself with others.

If you want to build self confidence then you need to focus on improving your life for the better by not making your life more like your friends, your brother or sister or celebrities. There will always be someone who is prettier and richer than you, just like there will always be someone less attractive and less intelligent that you are.

Avoid perfectionism

If you feel like everything has to be done perfectly then you will never be happy with yourself or your circumstances. Be proud of a job well done instead of wanting everything to be perfect.

Do not be afraid of pushing yourself beyond your limits; step out of your comfort zone and build the life that you want and deserve with self-confidence.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

Share this article with a friend

Written by Gherardo Della Marta MBACP counsellor in London WC1B, NW1 and Bedford MK40

Welcome,
As a counsellor, I offer a non judgemental space where you can discuss issues, concerns and feelings you may experience. I can help you to clarify choices you are about to make and to allow you to develop a deeper understanding of any aspects of your life you might find problematic or confusing.
I have worked with individual clients since 2012 in the voluntary sector and in … Read more

Written by Gherardo Della Marta MBACP counsellor in London WC1B, NW1 and Bedford MK40

Show comments

Find a counsellor or psychotherapist dealing with low self-confidence

All therapists are verified professionals.

Real Stories

More stories

Related Articles

More articles