To start to describe grief is like telling the story of the lives that have gone before us. In my experience it’s like stepping into an unknown dimension. Dreamlike with heartache. It’s indescribable in words, though visual in emotion. 


When you hear the news it’s like the world is spinning faster. A crushing blow to the heart and a whoosh of tears. No…
Then how, when, why, what…
Then the ifs... 

The funeral, beautiful in the collection of love that’s present. People together to say goodbye. Warmth and the chapel thick with emotion; It’s almost visible in the air. The days after have reflection after reflection, recalling others that have gone.

Gone but not forgotten - never a truer set of words. In dreams, memories, recollections and for some it’s in other people. Ever walked through a busy high street and think it’s them? Yes, you know that scene. 

Anger, sadness, guilt, and an emptiness all toing and froing throughout the whole being. In the deepest part of the soul a longing for them. Wishing, yearning and broken to the core. “The dark night of the soul.” An experience of enlightenment. It’s time, it’s now time to heal.

People pay interest. Encouraged to talk. Sitting with you in grief. Cooking a nice dinner. Walking with you in the countryside. Saying affirming things. Lots and lots of attention. Until things start to be brighter. Hope is in the heart. Faith now in the future. Transcending into the transition of being back to life and reality.

The dream has now expired. Awoken a lot fresher. Renewed energy and alight. Enlightened with new possibilities. Life is okay again. Time is moving quicker. Activities arise more often. The heart is mending. New experiences beckon. Maybe a welcomed break to a serene location. Life is okay now.

To get to a place of moving through love and loss we may need a professional to walk with us. A person who can hear us and help us feel all those tough emotions in the safe space they provide. Instilling hope and warmth. Their unconditional care seeps in us. They become a symbol of the person we have lost, as they will hear all the intricacies of our lost love. 

If you are in grief we would like to hear you. You're welcome in our sessions. You are definitely okay to receive a guide. We believe in your ability to move into a brighter place. In fact we’re ready to shine our torches on the pathway. Dark as it may seem at the moment we’re ready to light it up. 

Counselling works. Walking works. Friends and family works. Letting go comes with time. On occasion a reinvention of self is possible. So there you are, a possibility in the heaviest of grief. The experience of change - if you let yourself approach it with that mindset. Nothing lasts forever, it’s inevitable that there’s an end. A new chapter awaits you when you turn your new page. 

In fondest memories of those we have lost -  far too soon. 

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16
Written by Warren Vinciguerra, BA (Hons) Registered MBACP
Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16

After decades of engaging in my own personal therapy and also practicing therapy as a therapist, I have gained wisdom and foresight in my counselling philosophy. The honour and privilege of working at some of the UK’s leading private treatment centers has enabled me to grow into an effective therapist. Researching new therapy methods is my forte.

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