Does couples counselling work?
Couples counselling is indeed a valid form of counselling particularly for relationships that have lost their way, it can also help improve relationships that may not be classed as being in crisis. As with any form of counselling there is no magic wand cure and it will require effort from both parties. If you are currently seeking couples counselling here are few factors to be mindful of before proceeding.
The first thing being is that if you are hoping that the counsellor you choose is able to point out all of your partners shortcomings you will be bitterly disappointed. An effective counsellor will enable you both to look at the problems in your relationship and come up with strategies that will improve the relationship. The counsellor is not taking sides as they are neutral and non judgemental. It is all about the relationship and making it better for both parties.
Another really important thing to be careful of is to make sure that both parties are committed to the process. There is no fairytale relationship and even the best require work and effort. They don’t just happen. A counsellor can’t fix or rescue a relationship what they are able to do is provide insight, enabling you to deal with the problems you are facing in a constructive manner. A partner who is dragged to counselling under duress is very likely to sabotage any real chance of change before it begins. I would strongly suggest that you choose the counsellor together so you are both invested and feel valued from the start.
One final thing is that seeking counselling does not mean you are a failure or a bad person it just means that you have the strength to seek help, none of us are an island and so we often need others for support. Relationships are hard work, most of us continually update our skills and knowledge in the workplace however when it comes to relationships we feel as if we should have all the answers. Don’t see couples counselling as admitting defeat, see it as an opportunity to enrich and produce a satisfying relationship.
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