Co-dependency in Relationships

Co-dependency can be described as a relationship addiction. In this type of relationship compulsive care-taking and a need to please or control others is present.  The never-ending process of positive and negative intensity becomes addictive, with the negative element escalating, sometimes with unhappy results.

Everyone is co-dependent to some extent, some more than others, and this behaviour is often used to blot out pain.

Some characteristics of co-dependency:

*   my good feelings about myself depend on receiving your approval.

*   I increase my self-esteem by solving your problems and relieving your pain.

*   I am not aware of how I feel but I am aware of how you feel.

*   I value your opinion more than my own.

*   The quality of my life depends on the quality of yours.

Recovery from co-dependency can be successfully achieved with the support of counselling by looking at how earlier life events may be affecting what is happening now, and by starting to focus on self-care and finding happiness within ourselves, rather than others.