Befriending anxiety and using depression as a guide to healing

Anxiety and depression often feel like unwelcome guests that refuse to leave. Anxiety might arrive suddenly, like a constant buzzing in the background, while depression may feel like a heavy cloud that follows you around, blocking out the sun. But what if, instead of seeing these feelings as enemies, you started to view them as signals from your body, messengers urging you to listen?

Befriending anxiety: A signal to slow down

Have you ever noticed how your body reacts to anxiety? The racing heart, shallow breathing, maybe even sweaty palms? These are your body's way of saying, “Something’s not right here. Pay attention.” Anxiety is like a fire alarm – its purpose isn’t to scare you but to alert you to an issue. What if, instead of running from that alarm, you took a moment to ask, “What is my body trying to tell me?”

Anxiety, when viewed through a different lens, can become a guide. Dr Claire Weekes, a pioneer in treating anxiety, often spoke about "floating" through it rather than fighting against it. Imagine yourself floating on a river. You don’t have to fight the current; you simply let it carry you, trusting that you’ll arrive at calmer waters. Resisting anxiety only fuels it, but what if you allowed yourself to float through those anxious moments?

For instance, let’s say you have a presentation at work. The night before, you feel your heart pounding, your thoughts racing. Instead of seeing this as something wrong with you, what if you viewed it as your body’s way of preparing you for the challenge ahead? Your mind is working to make sure you’re ready. In therapy, we explore how to recognise these signals without letting them control you. It’s about learning to float and asking, “How can I respond rather than react?”

Depression: A gentle reminder that it’s time to stop

Have you ever had days where everything feels heavy, like wading through thick mud? Where getting out of bed feels like running a marathon? These moments of depression can feel like your body has shut down, but what if, instead of a shutdown, it’s a stop sign? Depression, unlike anxiety, is often a way of your body saying, “Enough. It’s time to rest.”

Think about it – how often do you push yourself to keep going, even when you’re drained? Perhaps you keep working late hours, tending to others’ needs, or dealing with constant stress without taking a break. Depression steps in when your body can no longer keep up with that pace. Johann Hari, in his book Lost Connections, highlights how depression is often rooted in a lack of connection – whether that’s with others, yourself, or even your sense of purpose.

Imagine your body as a car engine. You’ve been driving for hours, ignoring the low fuel light, and suddenly the engine sputters and stops. Depression is your body’s low fuel warning – it’s telling you that you’ve been running on empty, and it’s time to refuel. Therapy offers the space to pause and listen to what your depression is trying to communicate. Are you burnt out from caring for others and neglecting your own needs? Are you disconnected from who you truly are?

Consider the story of a young woman, Sarah, who came to therapy feeling utterly exhausted. She worked tirelessly, caring for her children and parents and managing a stressful job. But Sarah never made time for herself. She kept going until her body forced her to stop – she was unable to leave her bed. Through therapy, Sarah came to understand that her depression wasn’t a failure on her part; it was her body asking her to pause and make room for her own needs. She began to carve out time for self-care, setting boundaries, and reconnecting with herself.

Finding the right support

When you’re stuck in a loop of anxiety and depression, it’s easy to feel like you’re alone. But what if I told you that these feelings are shared by many others? The truth is, you don’t have to go through this alone, and you don’t have to feel like it’s a flaw in your character.

These challenges often show up in ways that you might not even notice at first. For example, someone living with ADHD might find themselves physically restless, unable to sit still, which only adds to their anxiety. Autism can bring sensory overload, where loud noises or bright lights make everything feel too much. Trauma, on the other hand, can linger long after the event itself, showing up as physical discomfort or stress, even when the danger has passed. Recognising how these issues impact both your mind and body is the first step in your healing journey.

How counselling can help

Therapy is a place to start understanding these signals – whether it’s the racing thoughts of anxiety or the weight of depression – and to begin building a new relationship with them. In our sessions, we’ll explore what your body is trying to communicate and work together to find healthier ways of coping. It’s not about “fixing” you but rather giving you the tools to understand and manage your emotions.

Think of therapy as a safe harbour during a storm. The winds might be strong, and the sea rough, but in this space, we can drop anchor, pause, and chart a new course together. You don’t have to do this alone. Your therapist will be with you every step of the way, helping you to lighten the load you’ve been carrying for so long.

As you work together, you'll begin to notice the changes. Perhaps you'll learn to quieten your mind before it spirals out of control or recognise the early signs of burnout before depression takes hold. This is the path to healing – one small step at a time, with compassion for yourself along the way.

References

• Hari, J. (2018). Lost Connections: Why You’re Depressed and How to Find Hope. Bloomsbury Publishing.
• Bourne, E. J. (2011). The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. New Harbinger Publications.
• Weekes, C. (1972). Hope and Help for Your Nerves. Harper Perennial.