Before you say "I do" again

Some practical advice for if you are considering getting married again, or entering a new relationship. 

1. Before you seriously give any thought to remarriage, make sure you are emotionally, financially, and legally divorced from your first marriage.

2. Understand the mistakes you made the first time around. The simplest way of avoiding making the same mistakes again is by identifying what you may have done wrong in your first marriage.

3. Know everything there is to know (where possible) about the person you are about to say "I do" to. Don't buy the box just because you like the outside wrapping. Get to really know your partner. Ask difficult questions.

4. Be open and honest; express your concerns and fears; don't hold back. Relationships succeed when there is no fear of communication.

5. Consider Marital Counselling. I know I might be stating the obvious, but (professional) pre-marital counselling may touch on issues that are difficult for you to address

6. Get a fresh start. If that means moving, do so. Evaluate who your true friends are and get rid of those who do not have your best interests at heart. Remember, you do not want anything from your past to jeopardize your marriage.

7. Embrace change. The first marriage is over and it's a good idea to try to be as open as possible to trying new things, making adjustments that life may require.

8. Take inventory of your finances. Deal with money issues before you say "I do" again. This may include seeking the advice of a financial consultant.

9. Think Positive. Some things will happen in your new relationship that might remind you of bad experiences you had with your ex-husband/wife; be honest and talk about it. Don't focus on the past, but only the future.

10. Be happy and enjoy the moment. It's a new start in your life, so why not make the most of it?

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Patrick Wildman MBACP APSCC Dip

I have worked in several positions over the lifetime of my career and I am now at the mature stage of life where I am motivated by fulfilling the needs of others and keen to take advantage of opportunities that impacts individuals and families. I get real satisfaction from this and feel that I have met my ultimate purpose.
I now have a range of skills and personal experiences that makes me … Read more

Written by Patrick Wildman MBACP APSCC Dip

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