Anxiety isn't always bad

I don’t like feeling anxious. And yet I feel like it so often. But did you know it’s an important feeling to have?

Our relationship with anxiety began millions of years ago, with a small part of the brain called the amygdala and a fight for survival.

As we lived within caves, the more sensitive our amygdala was to danger – the more likely it was to survive. Eg. If I was standing at the foot of my cave and a big grizzly bear popped its head around the door  – my amygdala would signal I was in danger.

My heart would beat faster, my breathing would change and I would be given a choice. I could run away, fight (the bear) or freeze.

The flight, fight or freeze response.

The difficulty however with this little almond-shaped alarm in the brain is that the amygdala (as clever as it is) doesn’t see a difference between ‘perceived threats’ and ‘actual danger’.

It therefore can often trigger a false alarm.

Perhaps you are speaking in public, giving a presentation, or taking an exam. And even though none of these activities are actually life-threatening, we often disconnect from the rational thinking part of our brain and become impulsive and reactive… allowing our anxiety to take over.

Imagine the alarm sounding so loudly, that our heart beats faster and our breathing becomes rapid and we feel exactly the same as we did when the grizzly bear appeared.  We feel in danger and the fight, flight or freeze response takes over...

So now we know where the anxiety in the body comes from - the next step is to consider ways to manage it!

I welcome my anxiety to the party. It’s an important part of who I am and I need it to be on alert in dangerous situations (crossing a road, running away from a fire) but I also need to take control of it.

So I acknowledge the feeling of anxiety that rises within me at times and let it settle. I feel it coming and I let it stay. Often within a few minutes, the alarm settles within me and it doesn't seem so loud. By not running away from it, I am reassuring myself that I'm safe and don't need to be scared. 

I also use breathing techniques to tell my body it's not in danger.  

By taking 2 sharp breaths in and 1 long breath out, I start to focus on that instead of the nervousness. Others use the 'box technique' or 5-finger breathing. Whatever technique you use to calm yourself down, when the breathing settles, so does the mind.

I think creating a positive calming playlist, for days when I know the amygdala is going to be kicking off. can be super helpful.  This can support me in a car journey or at home when I’m getting ready for a day, I’m anxious about.  It distracts my mind and comforts me, in a way only music can.

Finding a smell that reassures you or calms you can be a game changer. Pop it on a piece of material and keep it in your pocket. Every time you then feel anxious or unsettled, grasp the smell and let your mind wander to somewhere safe.

I like to think of the amygdala as a little superhero in your brain.

It’s not perfect (those pesky false alarms) but we do need it and if we can understand why it's there and how best to cope with it, perhaps after all we can embrace it and learn to live with it - differently.

There is a superhero in all of us. We just need the courage to put on the cape. Superman.