A tool for self-protection

How do I carve out time for myself when my loved ones need me? How do I relax and clear my mind? And how do I protect myself from the ill-feeling of the people around me? Sound familiar?

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Self-protection is key in everyone’s life. We are accustomed to constant overstimulation; notifications, social media, emails, things to do, places to go, telephone always ringing. On top of this, we have friends seeking advice, partners to support, children to raise. If we don’t protect ourselves, we risk collapsing and experiencing stress as well as emotional dysregulation (which refers to any excessive or otherwise poorly managed emotional responses).

The first thing that you have to remember is that the most important person in your life is you!

Pause for a moment and let this sentence sink in. How does it resonate with you? Is it true for you or you are struggling to be the most important person in your life? I know that sometimes it’s difficult to put yourself first, and I am not suggesting that you become a spoiled brat. But you need to recognise when it’s time to prioritise yourself, so that you can recharge and return to your loved ones with more energy.

"How do I do it?" you ask. With awareness and honesty. When you feel that you cannot keep giving, that you have exhausted your resources, then it’s time for some me-time. And you just do it, you decide that you take some time alone and you go - to another room, to the park, to a coffee shop, to a church, to the book club. Be creative, and let your loved ones know in a nice, gentle way. Learning to physically take distance is the first step to then clear your mind.

Now a practical tool. I want to share with you a tool that you can use to shield yourself from the influence that people in your life can have on you.

Imagine that you are inside a bubble. You decide the size of this bubble, meaning you decide where you want to set the boundaries - perhaps with some people you need more distance than with others. Now imagine how thick the bubble is and what’s it made of. It could be an unbreakable material or a bouncy one or it could be very oily so that whatever reaches, it will just slide down. What’s its colour and why?

And now use your imagination even further to add any superpower you feel you need! Do you want your bubble to be soundproofed? Do it. Do you need your bubble to transform any negative energy into positive vibes? See them all reaching you in a nice, colourful form.

This bubble can and will be anything you need in order to protect yourself from unwanted influences. Take some time to create a strong image, play with it a bit, and then use it whenever you want to feel more protected, it is a very powerful tool.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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London, W8 6UG
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Written by Francesca Moresi, HCPC, BPS and MBACP Registered
London, W8 6UG

Psychologist and psychotherapist qualified in England and in Italy, with over 10 years of study, research and practice with clients from around the world. I help individuals to develop self-awareness. My method aims to guide you towards reaching a unique perspective on life, by exploring your emotions and thoughts.

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