5 tips to break free from feeling stuck and build lasting change

As a mum, balancing everything often feels like spinning plates. From managing school runs and packed lunches to navigating your career, relationships, and the ever-growing laundry pile, it can feel impossible to stick to habits that matter. How many times have you started a workout routine, only to quit a few weeks later? Or vowed to have regular date nights, only for it to fizzle out? You’re not alone. So many of us struggle with staying consistent. But why is it so hard, and what can we do about it?

As someone who’s spent years working with mums going through matrescence (the process of becoming a mother), I’ve seen this challenge time and time again. I’ve had to learn how to stay accountable myself. Running my own business, if I wasn’t self-motivated, I simply wouldn’t have an income! Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not naturally good at sticking to tasks. I suspect I have ADHD — I’m often juggling 100 things at once. But when I’m really enjoying something, I can get it done and fortunately, I love what I do.

That said, I’ve worked hard to create a life I love, and I had role models who helped me build this mindset. Growing up, my mum never skipped a workout to sit in bed eating chocolate, and my dad worked seven days a week. That drive is in me, but it hasn’t always been easy. I’ve done a lot of training, read loads of books, and helped countless women change their lives, so today, I’m sharing some of what I've learnt along the way that I hope can help you from feeling stuck and like you can't change things to someone to someone who achieves her goals.

1: Understand why change is hard

I recently came across a Tony Robbins quote that resonated with me so much: "The biggest problem humans face on a daily basis is the need to stay consistent."

It sounds crazy, but if you’ve developed a habit of giving up on things, it becomes part of your identity. Your brain will literally resist becoming a person who sticks to healthy routines because the unfamiliar is dangerous. Our brains are designed to keep us safe and they experience any change in the same way they experience being attacked by a lion, if something is different and our brain has no evidence it's going to be good it will assume it's bad and try and stop us from doing it.

For example, our thoughts will tell us  things like:

• "If I work out in the morning, I’ll be too tired to get through the day."
• "Making an effort in my relationship won’t change anything."
• "What’s the point in applying for that job? They’ve probably already chosen someone else."

These are all ways your brain keeps you from experiencing change, even when it’s changed for the better. 

2. Write down the benefits

When you’re about to make a change, it’s crucial to remind yourself why it’s worth the effort. Let’s take exercise as an example. The benefits of regular movement are endless, but we often forget them in the moment so write a list of all the positive aspects the change could make in your life.

• Reduces stress and anxiety: Exercise releases endorphins that alleviate stress and improve your mood which means it's much easier to be that calm Mum you want to be
• Boosts energy: Physical activity increases energy by improving circulation and oxygen flow so it will actually mean you are less tired.
• Enhances mental clarity: A workout can provide a much-needed mental break, making decision-making easier.
• Improves sleep: Regular movement helps regulate your sleep cycle, making your rest more restorative. As Mums, we can't always get more sleep but we can help improve the quality.
• Builds emotional resilience: Exercise strengthens both your body and your ability to navigate challenges and as Mums, we are tested all day.

3. Start small

I heard a great tip from Zoe Blaskey of the Motherkind podcast: make your habits laughably small. The smaller and more doable the habit, the easier it is to stick to.

Right now, I’m doing a 100-day challenge, and one of my goals is to do five minutes of pilates a day. It doesn’t seem like much, but it’s something I know I can manage, even when I’m exhausted. If I’d set myself a 15-minute goal, I’d definitely quit. But five minutes? There’s no excuse, no matter how tired or busy I am. It’s doable and after a few weeks of being consistent, I'll up it to 10 minutes.

Start with something so small you can’t say no. Over time, you’ll build momentum, and the habit will stick.

4. Stack your habits

Habit stacking is one of the easiest ways to make sure you follow through on new goals. The idea is simple: attach a new habit to an existing one, and the routine will flow naturally. Here are some ways to do it:

• Drink a glass of water before you have your morning coffee.
• Only listen to your favourite podcast while folding laundry or cleaning.
• Practice affirmations while doing your skincare routine.
• For me, I only allow myself coffee after I’ve had a glass of water. This way, I’m guaranteed to stay hydrated, and it’s not hard—it's just a natural part of my routine now.

5. Embrace imperfection

One of the biggest reasons we quit things is because we’re not good at them right away. This is something I really try to teach my kids. My daughter wanted to quit gymnastics after just a few weeks because she wasn’t good at it. I encouraged her to give it another month, and now she loves it. She’s not the best, but she’s making progress, and more importantly, she enjoys it.

6. Track your cycle

I've had a really sluggish few days and I just checked my stardust app and realised I am in my luteal phase. This is our inner autumn and during this time we feel sluggish and things we normally do with ease get a lot harder. My inner chatter has been so loud telling me all the reasons there is no point in sticking to my goals. Knowing this makes it a lot easier to say no that's just my hormones. I would also say go easy at this time and if you're trying to eat well make sure you have more healthy snacks with you. Tracking our cycle just gives us the opportunity to prepare.

As adults, we’re no different. We try something, and when it feels difficult or awkward, we give up. But the first time you do something is never going to feel as good as the 100th time. Progress isn’t linear, and we need to embrace the journey instead of expecting perfection from the start. We will have weeks when we are hormonal, when it feels extra hard and that is why apps like Stardust that track our periods are so great and we can alter our goals accordingly.

Change is hard, but it’s possible. These small habits and mindset shifts can make a huge difference in your life and slowly really is the fastest way to get where you want to be.

What if the small changes you start today lead you to becoming the happiest version of yourself? What if these changes are the ones that stop you from feeling anxious and help you show your children what happiness truly looks like? It’s possible — and it all starts with just one step.