5 steps to a strong relationship

Without a strong connection to our partner, our relationships can feel distant and empty. Striving to build that strong relationship takes both time and effort to nurture it. Often it seems a mystery that some relationships build such a strong connection yet others seem to grow apart. Some of the following practices can make a big difference.

Knowing yourself

It is important that you are comfortable with your own emotional state and understand your motivations. If you are insecure, it can be hard to be secure with your feelings and connected to your partner. When you are emotionally disconnected, you can end up punishing your partner.

Being emotionally present and connected

Counsellors talk about communication in relationships, however, it is important to understand the detail of communication. The importance of listening and connecting with your partner is a key part. Your partner can feel the do not matter to them when you are not responsive, offering eye contact, do not seem to notice their feelings or fail to offer them empathy. Turning off all distractions and focusing solely on your partner shows you are choosing to make a connection, and builds a strong intimate connection.

Valuing your partner

It can be easy to see the faults in others including our partner. Remember, to talk about your problems be vulnerable and emotionally available. If you focus on differences you create spaces between you, if you focus on the qualities that made you fall in love in the first place you strengthen the bonds. Can you stay with what is wonderful and beautiful about your partner? Can you practice complimenting them and noticing their good qualities?

Plan relationship time

Intimacy holds relationships together. Physical intimacy like cuddling, holding hands, sex. Experiential intimacy – going to the cinema, meals holidays. Emotional intimacy – sharing and being vulnerable with each other. Remember to create space in your lives for just the two of you where this magic can happen. Spend time together in that fun relaxed way-putting romance back in the driver’s seat: Even if it is a movie at home with a takeaway.

Support your partner

Each of us has vulnerabilities, trials and mistakes in our lives, moments when we doubt ourselves. Helping your partner cope this pain makes a difference. Being there for your partner, helps them know that there is one person in the world that they can rely on. Try to be approachable and listen without judgement or trying to solve the problem. The strong connection to their partner supports them through the troughs when the need the help the most.

Building a strong connection with her partner takes time and effort. Yet it is vital for the longevity and well-being of your relationship. Working through the simple steps together you can make a real difference and build the relationship that you hope for.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred) Counsellor

Graeme is a counsellor and author living and working on the south side of Glasgow. In his practice, he sees a number of clients with emotional, anxiety and self-esteem that have relevance to us all. His articles are based on that experience and are offered as an opportunity to identify with, or to challenge you to make changes in your life.… Read more

Written by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred) Counsellor

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