Latest articles on counselling and therapy

By the time most individuals turn to therapy, they have tried to give up their addiction many times with willpower alone - therefore, suggesting that they use willpower alone again during a counselling session may not be very productive. Instead, it may be more beneficial look at the addiction from a multitude of viewpoints. First, we need to find a motivation for change: tell stories about what led to the addiction; explore deep feelings of self-worth; discuss what the addiction is robbing...

Why do we find everything from social media apps to games to good old email so captivating and compelling and how can psychological theory help to explain the attraction? The simple answer is that it is designed to be. Modern tech companies have deliberately and systematically eradicated any natural ability to engage in stopping rules when using their apps. They have designed their platforms to keep our engagement with the content endless and constant. Writing in the 1930s, Freud saw drug use...

Compulsive gambling, sex addiction (including pornography), compulsive retail/ shopping, and obsessive online gaming are all categorised, in addiction terms, as process or behavioural addictions. Process or behavioural addictions are simply defined as an addiction not induced by a substance or chemical. For years behavioural psychologists argued that the concept of addiction is meaningful and should not be restricted to the ingestion of drugs or alcohol. However, this argument was...

We are now connected through many social media channels, no doubt it is very difficult to stay away from them. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and even the professional networking platform LinkedIn can have damaging effect in your mental health and relationships. These platforms have transformed relationships at all levels, in the way we meet up, talk about global events, search for a new job, how we flirt and deal with difficulties in our lives. They have become the main communication channel of...

Being unable to feel the difficult stuff in our lives is so tempting. Why would you want to feel pain and despair if there‘s an alternative? We numb ourselves by denying our feelings through the use of props. The obvious props are alcohol and drugs (prescription sedatives and antidepressants as well as the illicit kind). Less obvious (and arguably far more prevalent) is the use of food, sex, TV, shopping, work, computer games and obsessive-compulsive behaviours. I‘m including not...

The constant updates from rolling news television channels and the increased use of mobile phones, help us to stay in contact with our social and professional network continuously as well as monitor world events more easily. This can bring lots of benefits in being greater informed, as well as staying in touch with influential people who can help us progress our aims and objectives. The danger with the constant level of connectivity is that we can become compulsive checkers; checking for...

A study carried out by the University of Chicago Booth School of Business has revealed that the urge to check your social media pages is among the strongest temptation in modern society, including sex.

Both acts are driven by a desire to connect. Our need to feel connected is considered by some as the number one predictor of happiness, health and well-being.

Trying to connect digitally however can be counterproductive. Here are some examples of how updating your status can be detrimental...

Young people come to counselling for a myriad of reasons and as a counsellor, my hope is that each will have a positive experience leading to new understanding and discovery. I first sat in a counselling room when I was a teenager and I am seeing that counselling for young people today offers something it didn’t need when I was 15, something it didn’t probably didn't need to even five years ago. Counselling today offers something potentially unusual and increasingly important; a...

One of the phenomenons of the past year has been the continuing growth of social media. This ties in with the human need to be in contact with others. But has social media made us closer to our friends and relatives?  Or are we using texts, emails and other electronic means to put a barrier between us and them - possibly unintentionally? And it is making us feel more alone? Therapists are now working with more and more people who are having difficulties relating to others either in...