Latest articles on counselling and therapy

What thoughts and images come to mind when you think about bullying and bullies? We probably think of a playground and children, as most people tend to have their first experiences of being bullied at school. However, it is fair to say that bullying can happen much earlier than that, especially if a person such as a parent, caregiver or sibling is abusive within the home setting. What does being a bully actually mean? If we look at the dictionary definition of a bully it...

When a person decides to go and see a counsellor, chances are that they are not feeling at their strongest. It may well have taken a long time to decide to seek help. Sometimes a person doesn't really want to see a counsellor but their loved ones keep telling them they ought to. Often people don't actually know what a counsellor does. If you or someone you know relates to this, please read on. This is a brief introduction on how to be counselled. First, finding a counsellor. You may want the...

There really isn't enough emphasis on adult bullying. Many people believe it only happens in childhood but this is a fallacy. Bullying can happen in the workplace, with family, neighbours and anywhere else really. Being bullied as an adult can be hard to admit. There is a sense of shame that comes with being bullied as an adult because so many people believe it mainly happens in childhood. Many people believe that to be bullied you have to appear weaker but actually that isn't true either....

Last year we surveyed over 1000 people to get the facts about bullying. We found:

55% of people have been bullied at some point. 70% of all people bullied did not seek support, ever.

Our school years can be both the best, and the worst years of our lives. While we’ll all go through ups and downs during our life in education, for some, they are utterly miserable. Bullying affects one in two people. Despite half of the population having been affected by bullying, when you’re a victim,...

Companies as entities, purely profit-driven and lacking in ethics, can behave like bullies. It's as if the whole world has been blinded by the impression an organisation promotes: Fair treatment of staff, fulfilling quotas for equality and diversity, discrimination and inclusion, whilst in reality they promote a culture of fear and blame, literally “killing off” their staff in the process. Ambitions are hidden under a smokescreen of the charities for which they raise money, or...

For decades women have silently put up with sexual harassment in the workplace. There was little protection or resource at the time. Those who had the courage to complain soon discovered that their experience of sexual harassment was dismissed as trivial, harmless and just a joke. Women were often told to quit their job if they couldn't handle advances from the harasser. It was a case of put up and shut up. The turning point came in the mid-1970's as the Women's Liberation Movement began to...

Unlike physical abuse, the emotional and psychological scars are not immediately visible. The constant demands of an abusive partner can wear women down. As a result of this, women can develop symptoms such as difficulty sleeping, eating, anxiety and self-harm. The impact of emotional and psychological abuse can be profound and long-lasting. Women may experience emotions such as grief, anger and fear long after leaving the abusive relationship. Women as a result of abuse, lose control in...

Having worked with a number of clients who have experienced bullying at work, the one common thread is the belief there’s very little they can do about it without losing their job or making matters worse. When the bully behaves badly toward you publicly and it’s seen and heard by others yet not challenged, the person being bullied begins to accept the behaviour, convinced they must be the problem or they must be over reacting. This is ‘faulty’ thinking which leads to...

Being bullied at work can make us feel incompetent, useless and a failure. Bullying is often an abuse of power, and it can happen to anyone. Like any type of abuse, it is a subtle process. If we haven't experienced it before, we are unlikely to be aware of what is happening to us. On the other hand, we may have been bullied at work for a long time. We may be in denial, or just come to accept this is how working life is. Bullying is often done 'behind closed doors'. It can be a slow,...